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I vote for Catholicism. Even though I never made out with boys in high school. (I was fat, shy, awkward & in the AP classes. The boys did not come a-runnin'. But hoo boy, once I got to college? I caught up with a vengeance.)
Third Time's A Charm? Not Really
I've written two blogs tonight that I will probably never publish. One was a semi-disjointed complain-y bit about the dearth of community within the single/childless/female bloggers in the innerwebz that didn't really go in any acceptable direction, but maybe will in the light of day. Maybe I'll...
I took ballet classes when I was 5. It didn't last long. After that, I tried gymnastics, but they tried to get my fear-of-heights self to walk across a balance beam, and I was all, "eff THAT noise!" And that was the end of any sort of athletic hobby for me.
Well, I was a pee-wee cheerleader when I was 10 & 11, but let's not talk about those years...
Is It Possible To Have THREE Left Feet?
I am FLYING this morning. I got about 4 hours of sleep, since I was up all night writing a recap of "Dancing with the Stars", which I will be begging all y'all to read as soon as it goes live over at MamaPop. Because, as I am constantly reminded, I am a shameless attention whore. Anyway, this me...
My cat Beaumont has respiratory issues. He wants to know when there will be universal healthcare for pets. He SHALL NOT SLEEP until all kitties & doggies are... well, ok, no. He'll sleep. Like, right now.
Stewie Joins The Health Care Debate
OKAY PEEPLES PERSONS HOOMAN BEANS, STEWIE HAVE FLOOR. Geddit??? Stewie have FLOOR??? I SO FUNNY SOMETIMES! Stewie here to weigh in (at 18.7 pounds, MIGHTY!) on Health Care Reform Debate. So you ready, beans, cause Stewie here to school you. Health care broken. Need to be fixed. President man ...
Ok, "that deer was WICKED PISSAH dead" made me literally laugh out loud. (I hate typing "LOL," sorry.)
I've been driving to the gym at 5 a.m. when it's still dark outside (because I'm insane), and I almost ran over a bunny rabbit the other day. I had a full-on thumping-chest adrenaline-rush anxiety attack for the next 10 minutes. So, actually hitting something as massive as a deer? Yeah. I would've needed a few shots of something powerful after that.
Sorry, Bambi
Me: What to talk about today? Common Sense: We could talk about the drive to the shrink. Me: I think it went vair, vair well today. CS: I agree! I mean, it was still terrifying, as it always is. Me: You have a tendency to exaggerate for someone who is supposed to be my common sense. CS: I have...
Ok, the remote access thing that the lady in India did? I do that all the effing time to fix my parents' computer. Because my dad is... well, he's almost 74. Let's leave it at that. But I once fixed their computer via remote access, while I was in England. And they live in Mississippi. Boo ya for technology!
Btw, I have the exact same laptop as you (Dell XPS, no?) and I had the same issue a few months after I bought it. They had the very handy warranty repair guy come to my house the next day to fix it. Awesome.
The Ghost In The Machine
I am KRYPTONITE to electronics. Seriously, there isn't something you can plug in that I can't break simply by looking at it. It's my X-Men power. I break things WITH MY MERE PRESENCE. It's awesome, really it is. So this is what I've been dealing with for the last, oh, month or so. Me: Worky work...
Not disgusted at all. The fact that you recognize it for what it is, and you own it, means that you're already about a thousand times healthier than most of the people out there with the same issue.
Was It Something I Said?
I come to you today to talk about a scary subject for me, because it inevitably becomes a spiral of self-loathing and franticness that makes it impossible to do anything but rock back and forth and cry hysterically. I'm talking about paranoia, and I'm chock full of it. Now, I am (luckily enough)...
My low-carb poison of choice is Diet Coke. I will never take a picture of myself with the number of cans I consume in a day. It would be... sort of embarassing. Like, you'd fear for my kidneys.
Just Say YES To Energy Drinks, And End Up Just Like Your Old Pal, Banshee!
*Flings self onto imaginary fainting couch* I am filled with ennui. Not really, I'm just sitting here trying to think of something terribly exciting to talk about on ye olde Blogge today. Were I filled with ennui, I would still be hiding in bed, but no! I am up! And writing! And for some reason...
1. I thought that was pretty dang funny.
And 2., you are not the first person I know BY A MILE who is guilty of late-night yammering on Twitter. It sort of makes me wonder if Twitter should be a more like a bar, with a last call at a certain time, and then they just cut you off. "No tweeting after 2 a.m.!" or something like that.
And I Deserved Every Single "Let Me Validate Your Parking" Joke
Oh TWITTER. I love you, Twitter. I especially love you when 140 characters dissolve into a bizzaro conversation that was half funny and half serious and all WEIRD, and I'm being too vague here, so let me back this up a bit. Last night, I was feeling very confessional on Twitter, which I am wont...
Beautifully said, as always.
The thought of what sort of neglectful parents those kids must've had, to have gotten to that age (still kids, sure, but legally considered "adults") without those minimal life skills... I can't even imagine it.
Tales From Rehab: The Lost Boys (and Girls)
It was, as I wrote on Twitter this morning, sad to see someone go before their time, but I was not shocked at all to see that Corey Haim had succumbed to his addictions and died today. It made me think, of course, about rehab, and the people I did my time with. These were real people, not some s...
The self-censoring thing is something I'm having an issue with lately too. Trying to work my way through it.
An Exercise in Free-writing, Which I Should Have Trashed, But Will Share With You Instead, Because I Am Exceptionally Odd Today
I'm brainfried. That's really the only reason I can come up with as to why I can't think of anything to write about today. Oh, sure, I could do a cat blog or pimp my MamaPop articles more, but really, self? Are you that much of a desperate whore? Don't answer that. I'm dealing with some drama r...
Sometimes Facebook pisses me off. Like when one of their "Friend Suggestions" is the bully who tortured me all through high school - the guy who called me fat, made fun of my last name, mooed every time I walked within a hundred feet of him, and was basically an all-around asshole. You know what, Facebook? Take that friend suggestion and shove it. I don't ever want to see that guy's name (or his smug douchebag face) ever again.
On the other hand, it also reconnected me with three girls who I've been friends with since we were 7 years old, and who I completely lost touch with once we all went our separate ways in college, and I am so, so grateful to have made those connections again.
So yes. Good & bad, for sure.
Facebook: Is it the Devil? Or Am I Just Wicked Overdramatic?
Sometimes I wonder if Facebook is good or evil. If it is sent from the heavens or directly from Hades. There are so many factors that go into making that decision, and good gawd damn if I didn't get an angel and a devil arguing their cases to me just the other day. So I wrote about keeping one's...
You see? More reasons for me to hate Crocs right there. I'm klutzy enough in regular shoes. I don't need to go smashing my lady bits into parking lots. I like my lady bits.
Also? Your dad is bad ass.
In Case You Forgot How Clumsy I Am
So I've been sick. Sick! Pity me. Except don't, because it was probably that soy milk that said it was a week over expiration. So MAYBE it was my fault. Be quiet, I don't want to hear it from you anymore. The point is that my daddoo, he of the surgery and the pain and the fury and he REALLY can'...
Oh yay! I love Miss Doxie, she was on my blogroll for years, and I've been wondering what on earth happened to her. Thanks for the update, I thought she'd left the Internet for good.
Saying Someone Influenced Me Might Not Be A Compliment
Okay, first things first. I can BARELY TYPE right now. Why? Are my hands hurt? Do I have a brain injury? NO. I...wait for it...cut my fingernails. I have no idea how to type with short nails, as I have been writing with HELLA LONG NAILS PAINTED BLACK OH MAN YOU MAKE A STATEMENT and this mornin a...
That picture MADE MY NIGHT. I'm not even kidding. Awesome.
Lies, Damn Lies, And Statistics
I am a nerd for statistics. For someone who hates math as much as I always have, I get a kick out of checking the blog's stats every day, and see who is reading. So what I'm basically saying is that I SEEEEE YOOOOU. And I love you all for reading. One thing that cracks me up is the Google search...
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