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Rachel
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Gee, as one just passing by and posting a comment (the comments did not specify "post your support and approval here"), I never exepected to attain such a position of prominence on your blog. I'm flattered. So, be careful what you wish for, 'cause here I am, by request! But just a word to my detractors: when one essentially maintains a personal blog that is in essence, a personal diary that one, for whatever reason, wants everyone to see, one must expect a range of responses. It's out there in the public domain; it's now subject to public scrutiny, for better or worse. Yes, I can't say that I "know" Lori. All I did was read the words. And if you compare this journal to others--I've read a lot of diaries and memoirs over the years (I was an English major and went on to grad school for the same thing...and I'm sure that you detractors will find issue with more here, but go right ahead. Feel free.) and one thing I've learned is that language, whether used intentionally or not, is no accident. So, when I just look at the words used throughout the blog, patterns develop. One of the consistent patterns, which results in a general tone, is one of anxiety, which I mentioned, and even more promintent, is ambivalence. It seems that you, Lori, are seeking an outlet for your domestic frustration. You have an IQ of 130, which means that you are within the top 2 percent of all human beings in terms of intellect. You need intellectual stimulation beyond what the domestic sphere can offer you. As it is, one of your blog entries equates "nice" with "boring" (something with which I agree entirely;nice is a word one uses when something more descriptive just doesn't fit)From what I gather, you don't work outside the home. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but it seems that you want something else but don't know what that is yet and it seems that a 3rd child may be an attempt to fill a void--yet it may not be what you're craving inside. Your blog seems like a way to find what you're craving (and we're not talking ice cream here) and mere kudos for your domesticity, I don't think, are really doing it for you. Which is where I come in. And because nice is boring, I'm trolling. Just an interesting aside: it's fascinating how you chose running as a diversion...it's also an uncanny juxtoposition in between "parenting, SPD" and "family." Just think about the implications. I know it is a real activity, but placed in between the other words, it's as if you need to get away quickly to find yourself. It's so metaphorical. And your "Spinning Yellow" title recalls a short story by Charlotte Perkins Gilman called "The Yellow Wallpaper" (originally published in 1891)but just for the heck of it, check it out. It may appear in some anthologies. Or look online.
Toggle Commented Oct 15, 2007 on It's All Coming Together at Spinning Yellow
Are you nuts? Your entire blog suggests that you are riddled with anxiety. The logical trajectory is that you will have more of the same. And to what end? And you expect what, exactly? Sorry, I just can't get all mushy about it. More isn't better.