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Amanda, I know we don't know the whole story, here. But I want to share with you my own experience. I got divorced from my first husband because I wasn't in love with him anymore. And in many ways, it WAS the best move I ever made. I'm very happily married to someone else now, and we have kids of our own. We're going on 8 years together now, and I really do love him SO much - I never had this kind of relationship with my first husband. Sounds like a happy ending, right? Well, only for me. My daughter from my first marriage is a teenager now, and she has SO MANY problems. She went between two houses for years and years and did poorly in school because she was so disorganized. She's so desperate for attention, she'll do ANYTHING to get it. She cuts herself and can't seem to make herself stop. She's in treatment for major depression, and it's becoming clear that almost all of her issues are directly related to our divorce, even though we tried to do ALL THE RIGHT THINGS for her when we split up. I had no idea she would feel abandoned by me. I thought I was doing the best thing for both of us - I thought I was showing her how to be a strong woman who doesn't settle for staying in a bad relationship. I thought I was preventing her from one day marrying someone who was passive aggressive and who would treat her like crap. Maybe all that will happen one day - I have no idea. What I can tell you for sure, is that I made her someone who feels like she wasn't important enough to fight for. I never, ever meant to do that. I tried NOT to do that, but that's what happened. And, as happy as I am now in my marriage and as much as I love my family, I would probably do things differently if I could go back in time. If I'd had any idea how much getting divorced was going to screw up my child, I would have tried harder to be happy with what I had.
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Jun 30, 2010