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1. Regarding the caramels: (a) my pan is in fact 3.5 quarts in size (if you filled it to the brim) and I don't think you'd like to make this quantity of caramel in any smaller pan; when it boils up as you add the warm cream mixture it goes quite QUITE high up. Pour gently. (b) my pan, which is perhaps my very favorite saucepan, and especially for candy making, has been discontinued apparently! Shocking and sad. So I suppose I won't be recommending it to all of you, after all. 2. On other sweet-related topics: (a) whether the... Continue reading

Posted Dec 17, 2016 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Hi hi! (1) I wait until the corn-syrup/sugar mixture has melted entirely (this requires some stirring early on, which makes it want to seize up horribly, but persevere) and then turns yes, dark yellow. But it sounds like you were fine. (2) I stir periodically, not continuously. (3) Yes! It becomes dark brown by way of the Maillard reaction (I just was reading up on this) involving the dairy solids -- this is the same thing that makes meat brown. (4) Big knife and cellophane, exactly. I usually work in four batches: take a square pan's worth, cut it in half, and set the other half back aside somewhere cool, then cut the 4" x 8" rectangle into narrowish 4" long strips, then each strip into 4 or 5 pieces. Then wrapped in cellophane. I actually went so far as to buy cellophane squares in bulk for wrapping, which makes life easier. This sort of thing. Yay! I hope your caramels are delicious.

Commented Dec 13, 2016 on Oh, hello. at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Oh, hello.

...I didn't see you there. Oh, that's right, it's because I've been looking the other way for the past oh dear God two and a half years. That might explain it. You may have noticed that in the interim, everything in the world at large became extremely horrible. I'm not saying it's my fault, exactly; I'm just saying it's not 100% obviously not my fault. Mistakes were made. Anyway, in the spirit of fiddling while Rome burns, here are some of the things I have been up to in this darkest timeline: 1. Growing sunflower shoots in our spare room,... Continue reading

Posted Dec 10, 2016 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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A short list of Jane's favorite expostulations

"Oh my GOD and HEAVEN." "Ye cats!" "Egad!" "Heavens to Betsy!" "Yessirree Bob!" "Let's pretend that didn't happen." Continue reading

Posted Jun 26, 2014 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Ha!

Commented Oct 15, 2013 on Candygram at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Candygram

Today Jane asked, as we walked toward the park to meet up with her friend from school, "When will all the people go?" "What, our friends who are coming for dinner later?" "No! ALL the people." "All what people?" "ALL the people!! When will they GO?" "Go?" "Yes, like before there were any people at all. When will they go?" Oh. You mean the extermination of the human race. Of course. How silly of me. "Well, no one knows, but probably not for a long time." "Why not?" "Well, there are a lot of people." "They could get eaten by... Continue reading

Posted Oct 13, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Hooray! Also, THANK YOU for reading and commenting when I provide such a feeble little trickle of content.

Commented Apr 6, 2013 on Now we know. at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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True, true

The other day I was on the bus and found myself in conversation with two little girls, aged about 4 and 9. After a couple of minutes of chat, the littler one held out her finger and said "YOLO." I touched her finger with my finger. This seemed to be the correct countermove, but incomplete. So I looked at them without taking my finger away, and waited. Older one: Now you have to say "true, true." Me: OK! True, true. Littler one, satisfied, withdrew her finger. Older one: You know what YOLO means? Me: You only live once? Older one:... Continue reading

Posted Apr 3, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Now we know.

Jane sang a song today about her toy fox, Foxy, prompted by an earlier discussion regarding the difference between a cow and a bull: I am a girl with a penis Girl with a penis E I E I O Also a butt. And how are you? Continue reading

Posted Mar 17, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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redfox added a favorite at hello typepad

Mar 9, 2013

Hoonga

Jane turned three! How can that be? It happens even to the best of us, I'm told. Does it always come with these bouts of KEENING SOUNDS and shoe throwing? I hope that is supposed to be usual, because it certainly is at our house. But aside from these small lapses, we are all pretty pleased with life overall, I would say. Just now Jane informed me that she was going to read Goodnight Moon to me. It went like this: I read it to you. Yes. Yes. Hmmmm... and, and... A whole lot of things happen. Hinga hinga hinga... Continue reading

Posted Mar 8, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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I am very glad I am not the only one going around saying "ICE BURN" all too often!

Commented Jan 22, 2013 on How I always imagined parenting would be at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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It is so very vexing, L. I should line up all my stupid disintegrating shirts and photograph them for posterity. Except that it would just fill me with impotent rage. Elsa, this is a highly gratifying response! I hope you toppled onto something soft and yielding.

Commented Jan 22, 2013 on Winter, a cavalcade of delights. at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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It's a lady carrot.

The most depressing day of the year! Allegedly. It was not too bad, here, though we've all had better ones. We slept extremely poorly last night. Poor Jane spend most of the night wailing and sobbing in our bed, and could not explain why. I kept asking her if something hurt, but she just seemed confused and inconsolable. Then whenever she would drop off for a moment, Steve would have a coughing fit. It was quite something. In the morning, she was tired and feeble (as were we) and generally a little inclined to dissolve into tears (we managed to... Continue reading

Posted Jan 21, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Winter, a cavalcade of delights.

Me: Those little bowls are for condiments. Jane: Of the house? Quite. Christmas was pleasant, as it canonically is supposed to be. I was I think only once compelled to refer to it as "Fuckwad" (merry fuckwad). Sweets were made, presents were exchanged, carols and murder ballads were sung, friends and family joined in pleasing harmony, et cetera. Now the semester is about to begin, the really-truly winter has arrived and with it its associated Stockholm Syndrome reactions (today it is THIRTY-SEVEN DEGREES FARENHEIT, break out the sundresses), and I have a nice lingering racking cough to go with it.... Continue reading

Posted Jan 7, 2013 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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How I always imagined parenting would be

STEVE and I are chatting away about something in the front seats of the car. In the back seat, JANE is looking out the window or something, keeping her own counsel. ABRUPTLY: JANE: eysbrn ME: What? JANE: EYSBRN ME: What? JANE: Ice. Burn. ME: Ohhh, ice burn.* STEVE: "Ice burn!" is what you say when someone says something mean but funny about you. ME: Mean and funny and true! JANE: Yes. Ice burn. When you have ice sometimes they burn. US: Uh huhhh? JANE: And then you can't see. Ice burn! STEVE (light dawns): Oh! Like when you cut up... Continue reading

Posted Dec 15, 2012 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Frances in fact figures so large in our household that we are required to carry on extensive imaginary telephone conversations with Frances multiple times per week! That lunch is marvelous. The doily is a nice touch. I am also quite taken with the hamper lunch in Best Friends for Frances.

Commented Dec 9, 2012 on Of the house at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Thank you! It is a great (in the sense of large and in the sense of splendid) surprise to me that anyone cares.

Commented Dec 6, 2012 on Oh good. at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Of the house

It's cold outside. Worse, it's cold in that sneaky December way that makes me think, "Well, maybe winter's not so totally dreadful," when ha ha ha the joke is on me because December really is just late fall or maybe prewinter, and I should just wait until January and then oh fuck February, and oh dear also March. Then even April is not spring but merely prespring. Dammit. At least the part where it is dark all the time is nearing its apogee, or nadir, depending on how you look at it. Afternoons and evenings can be a bit of... Continue reading

Posted Dec 6, 2012 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Oh good.

Phytohaemagglutinin may allegedly be the name of a poisonous compound found in undercooked kidney beans, but I think it is obvious to everyone that it is actually either: a. The sound you make when you have just eaten an undercooked kidney bean, or b. A fancy word for 'hairballs'. Continue reading

Posted Nov 27, 2012 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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Halloween, Voting Day, Falling Back

Traditionally I am a big hater of the return to Standard Time, because it is depressing when the sun sets in what becomes more and more the middle of the afternoon, but traditionally I have not had to get up in time to have a relaxing breakfast while also wrestling a small child into her clothing and getting her out the door to preschool, and... actually it is kind of magnificent how much easier it has been to wake up in the mornings this week, so I may be revising my opinion on this matter. Also, Halloween was delayed around... Continue reading

Posted Nov 6, 2012 at Adventures in the Pointless Forest

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