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Oh, how this post resonates with me, Felicity! I can't wait to share the long version of this story below with you & Tony someday. God has taken me on an incredible journey this year, and it was on this journey that He ultimately revealed to me His supernatural ability to heal. To my delight, He also allowed me to experience His healing touch first hand. As I did so, I encountered the very reality that you present here: that is, that healing is indeed a gift. And, like all gifts, it must be willingly received. God will not force it on us; we have a choice. This June I found myself face to face with God (lost in the woods nonetheless) being asked of Him the very question he asked the sick man in John 5: “Do you want to be healed?” What He was specifically asking me in this moment was very personal. It was “Renee, do you really want absolute freedom from same-sex attraction?” What I was shocked to discover in that moment, as I attempted to answer a seemingly easy question, was that the question was in fact, totally loaded. To answer it honestly I first had to unpack it, and second, had to trust God completely with a long list of fears. Because change—even good change, like the removal of a struggle, an illness, or an addiction—is scary. There is a price to pay in being made whole, and in leaving a false identity behind. I had to stop in that moment and count these costs. As I did so, I wrote them down & surrendered them one by one to God. To risk be transformed into someone new by God’s healing touch, one must trust Him completely. And yet, to take such a risk leaves everything to be gained because “for the happy heart, life is [INDEED] a continual feast.” Thank you, Felicity, for blessing me with this well-timed post! Renee
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Sep 23, 2010