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EveryoneWants2BeRich
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There is nothing like Schweddy balls.
SEND THIS COUNTY EXECUTIVE TO WASHINGTON
"You can kick their balls, but you can't touch them." (Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Thankfully the duck is completely normal except it doesn't have a natural aversion to motorboating like other ducks. đŚ
'I'M A PLUS SIZE GIRL SO IT JUST KINDA FIT'
Woman Saves A Cracked Egg By Carrying It In Her Bra For 35 Days: Sees It Hatch, Survive And Grow (Thanks to John Lobert)
I use the print technology with underwear. Yellow in the front, printed in back.
BY THEIR WHAT?
Smart toilet gadget recognises users by their 'anal print' and analyses deposits to detect early warning signs of cancer, heart disease and diabete (Thanks to Michael Moyer)
I'm tired and iguana go home.
MIAMI WEATHER FORECASTS ARE NOT LIKE YOUR WEATHER FORECASTS
I think the most immediate change will be drivers switching from handguns to longguns. Also "Road Rage" will become "Air Ire"
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Flying car comes to Miami (Thanks to Jim Kenaston)
While that may be true, people who talk to plants are idiots.
WOOF
Research Has Found That People Who Talk To Pets Are Smarter Than Those Who Donât (Thanks to Matt Filar)
It seemed like the perfect disguise, even when looking in the mirror, my ear appeared to stick out on the right while it is really on the left. Still not sure how I got caught.
HEY, IT WORKS FOR SUPERMAN
A robbery suspect in England thought he could evade authorities with a new look: a pair of glasses. (Thanks to Allen at Division and John Lobert, who says "I personally was fooled.")
No parking on the dance floor baby! (Midnight Star)
WHAT, A GUY CAN'T BLOW OFF STEAM?
Arkansas cop suspended after he's caught on video dancing naked in club (Thanks to pharmaross and Jeff Meyerson)
If you can dodge a wrench..
SPORTS UPDATE FROM JAPAN
Competitive pillow fighting. (Thanks to John Lobert)
Nothing like eating a beaver nugget on a beaver moon:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Buc-ees-Famous-Beaver-Nuggets-Snacks
GET READY
A Full Beaver Moon Is Coming in November (Thanks to Ralph)
I was suspicious when I read their company slogan 'Every year is the year of the dog!'
DOES THIS MU SHU PORK TASTE FISHY TO YOU?
Tennessee Chinese restaurant caught on camera washing rags, supplies in lake (Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
Sure, everyone knows not to bring a knife to a gun fight, but to bring a didgeridoo shows a loose roo in the paddock.
'I DON'T KNOW WHY SOMEONE WOULD JUST HAVE ONE OF THESE AT A QUIKTRIP'
Man shot after attacking QuikTrip security with didgeridoo, police say (Thanks to Stan Ruth)
What Ferrari?
WHO ISNâT?
Ibiza police searching for naked Ferrari-riding woman (Thanks to pharmaross and Le Petomane)
Well, who hasn't sat something on their face only to later regret it.
âLOOKING BACK, I PROBABLY MADE A BIG MISTAKEâ
Woman sent to hospital after posing with octopus on face (Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert and Bâgame)
They are maniacs. Opps... Personiacs...
HOWEVER WOKE YOU ARE, BERKELEY IS WOKER
The city voted Tuesday night to replace gendered terms in its municipal codes, like "manhole" and "manpower," with gender-neutral ones like "maintenance hole" and "human effort." (Thanks to Matt Filar and pharmaross)
Is it just me, or would anyone else love to see her with a small monkey dressed as a cowboy on her back?
AND ITâS NOT WEIRD AT ALL!
Woman has taught herself to run and jump like a horse (Thanks to Stan Ruth)
That is enough money to break the world record for largest penny pyramid. Coincidence? Some might think so but others know the truth.
WELL IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU AND THE LORD ARE FREE TO GO
Man says âdivine interventionâ compelled him to pass note demanding $16,000 from Cleveland bank (Thanks to Steve)
Most of the time Mrs Rich doesn't complain about the quality of service, the other times she wakes up.
ADVISORY
Men are seriously overestimating how often they make their wives orgasm (Thanks to pharmaross)
Everyone knows you have to use the correct hand signals when running a red light while being pleasured... Two thumbs up!
IN THAT CASE, SIR...
Police say David Herring admitted to disobeying the traffic signal and leading cops on a short pursuit in his pickup truck, arguing he couldnât comply immediately because his âpants were downâ while he was being pleasured by his passenger, Rhonda Koppenhoefer. (Thanks to Allen at Division)
Always wear protection.
ADVISORY
Don't give DNA to people who come to your house asking for it (Thanks to pharmaross)
Dave - while I'm in full rant mode, next time you see SK, tell him to this day I wish I stopped near the end of the Dark Tower series when the author's note suggested... Whew, rant = off...
GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS
This blog knows nothing about Game of Thrones.
I read half of the first book. I was really looking forward to it since I had heard so much about it. Wow, the book was one of the WORST things I have ever read. It started very slow but I thought it was just taking time to develop. Then about half way through I realized it isnt slow, it just is stupid, childish and absolutely SUCKS! Many way better fantasy series to read (wot, name of the wind, black prism to name a few)...
GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS
This blog knows nothing about Game of Thrones.
Think long and hard before crossing swords with agent P.
HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT
Woman arrested after allegedly trespassing at CIA headquarters four times, asking to speak to âAgent Penisâ (Thanks to Hayseed Tom, pharmaross, Roberto, Linda Schutjer, Ralph and B'game, who says "This will never stand up in court.")
I can't believe she blew his cover.
HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT
Woman arrested after allegedly trespassing at CIA headquarters four times, asking to speak to âAgent Penisâ (Thanks to Hayseed Tom, pharmaross, Roberto, Linda Schutjer, Ralph and B'game, who says "This will never stand up in court.")
Good one Ralph, you are as funny as a heart attack! If the merits of national health care can't be worked out here, then why do we even have this blog? Perhaps to bring seriousness to our otherwise hilarious days. Well, back to telling jokes to my boss...
DESPITE THE WIDESPREAD AVAILABILITY OF PSYCHIC MEDIUMS
Most people who die of natural causes do not seek medical help (Thanks to John Gregg)
More...
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