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EveryoneWants2BeRich
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They are maniacs. Opps... Personiacs...
Commented 2 days ago on HOWEVER WOKE YOU ARE, BERKELEY IS WOKER at Dave Barry's Blog
HOWEVER WOKE YOU ARE, BERKELEY IS WOKER
The city voted Tuesday night to replace gendered terms in its municipal codes, like "manhole" and "manpower," with gender-neutral ones like "maintenance hole" and "human effort." (Thanks to Matt Filar and pharmaross)
Is it just me, or would anyone else love to see her with a small monkey dressed as a cowboy on her back?
Commented 6 days ago on AND IT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL! at Dave Barry's Blog
AND IT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL!
Woman has taught herself to run and jump like a horse (Thanks to Stan Ruth)
That is enough money to break the world record for largest penny pyramid. Coincidence? Some might think so but others know the truth.
Commented Jun 21, 2019 on WELL IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU AND THE LORD ARE FREE TO GO at Dave Barry's Blog
WELL IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU AND THE LORD ARE FREE TO GO
Man says ‘divine intervention’ compelled him to pass note demanding $16,000 from Cleveland bank (Thanks to Steve)
Most of the time Mrs Rich doesn't complain about the quality of service, the other times she wakes up.
Commented May 29, 2019 on ADVISORY at Dave Barry's Blog
ADVISORY
Men are seriously overestimating how often they make their wives orgasm (Thanks to pharmaross)
Everyone knows you have to use the correct hand signals when running a red light while being pleasured... Two thumbs up!
Commented May 28, 2019 on IN THAT CASE, SIR... at Dave Barry's Blog
IN THAT CASE, SIR...
Police say David Herring admitted to disobeying the traffic signal and leading cops on a short pursuit in his pickup truck, arguing he couldn’t comply immediately because his “pants were down” while he was being pleasured by his passenger, Rhonda Koppenhoefer. (Thanks to Allen at Division)
Always wear protection.
Commented May 24, 2019 on ADVISORY at Dave Barry's Blog
ADVISORY
Don't give DNA to people who come to your house asking for it (Thanks to pharmaross)
Dave - while I'm in full rant mode, next time you see SK, tell him to this day I wish I stopped near the end of the Dark Tower series when the author's note suggested... Whew, rant = off...
Commented May 20, 2019 on GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS at Dave Barry's Blog
GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS
This blog knows nothing about Game of Thrones.
I read half of the first book. I was really looking forward to it since I had heard so much about it. Wow, the book was one of the WORST things I have ever read. It started very slow but I thought it was just taking time to develop. Then about half way through I realized it isnt slow, it just is stupid, childish and absolutely SUCKS! Many way better fantasy series to read (wot, name of the wind, black prism to name a few)...
Commented May 20, 2019 on GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS at Dave Barry's Blog
GAME OF THRONES ANALYSIS
This blog knows nothing about Game of Thrones.
Think long and hard before crossing swords with agent P.
Commented May 7, 2019 on HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT at Dave Barry's Blog
HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT
Woman arrested after allegedly trespassing at CIA headquarters four times, asking to speak to ‘Agent Penis’ (Thanks to Hayseed Tom, pharmaross, Roberto, Linda Schutjer, Ralph and B'game, who says "This will never stand up in court.")
I can't believe she blew his cover.
Commented May 7, 2019 on HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT at Dave Barry's Blog
HE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT
Woman arrested after allegedly trespassing at CIA headquarters four times, asking to speak to ‘Agent Penis’ (Thanks to Hayseed Tom, pharmaross, Roberto, Linda Schutjer, Ralph and B'game, who says "This will never stand up in court.")
Good one Ralph, you are as funny as a heart attack! If the merits of national health care can't be worked out here, then why do we even have this blog? Perhaps to bring seriousness to our otherwise hilarious days. Well, back to telling jokes to my boss...
Commented Apr 19, 2019 on DESPITE THE WIDESPREAD AVAILABILITY OF PSYCHIC MEDIUMS at Dave Barry's Blog
DESPITE THE WIDESPREAD AVAILABILITY OF PSYCHIC MEDIUMS
Most people who die of natural causes do not seek medical help (Thanks to John Gregg)
In Texas, unbelievably, playing loud music at all hours and shooting guns in the air is not unusual at all.
Commented Apr 15, 2019 on SO THAT’S A NO at Dave Barry's Blog
SO THAT’S A NO
Florida woman fires gunshots at neighbor who asked her to turn down her music (Thanks to pharmaross)
I call bs on this whole story. A cherry pie maybe, but apple? No way!
Commented Feb 25, 2019 on TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE at Dave Barry's Blog
TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE
McDonald’s customer flies into rage over apple pie not being ready, gets arrested (Thanks to Kevin Smith and pharmaross)
Not only did the aliens cause the crash, they stole the drivers stash of meth. Alien terrorist bastards.
Commented Feb 11, 2019 on AND THEY HAD FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES at Dave Barry's Blog
AND THEY HAD FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES
Man Claims Extraterrestrials are to Blame in Highway 18 Rollover Accident (Thanks to pharmaross)
Worst meal ever: British black beans and rice.
Commented Jan 28, 2019 on DEPARTMENT OF JOBS YOU DID NOT KNOW EXISTED at Dave Barry's Blog
DEPARTMENT OF JOBS YOU DID NOT KNOW EXISTED
Ew. (Thanks to pharmaross)
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...
Commented Jan 24, 2019 on GUYS IN ACTION at Dave Barry's Blog
GUYS IN ACTION
Man wrecks own home with ax after fit over action figures Surprising Detail: He reportedly told detectives that he was drinking too much (Thanks to Matt Filar and Not My Usual Alias, who says "In his defense, calling 911 on himself shows that he might be Canadian.")
It is all flight attendants sacred doody.
Commented Jan 22, 2019 on 'BEYOND THE SCOPE OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES' at Dave Barry's Blog
'BEYOND THE SCOPE OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES'
Flight attendant says overweight passenger forced her to wipe his butt (Thanks to funny man)
That is great news!
--Ho Lee Chit
Commented Jan 21, 2019 on UPDATE ON THE PHO KEENE GREAT at Dave Barry's Blog
UPDATE ON THE PHO KEENE GREAT
N.H. Vietnamese restaurant allowed to hang sign with profane-sounding pun (Thanks to Geoff)
I can't get "You can ring my bell" out of my head.... Abhh..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kPYese-Hl8M
Commented Jan 9, 2019 on WHO AMONG US HAS NEVER DONE THIS? at Dave Barry's Blog
WHO AMONG US HAS NEVER DONE THIS?
Man caught on video licking house's intercom system for hours (Thanks to A. Wheeler, B'game, Matt Filar, Le Petomane, Peter Metrinko and elseabs, who says "It tasted like chicken. Incredibly delicious chicken, apparently.")
I find kilt commando keeps the family jewels at optimum operating temperature.
Commented Jan 6, 2019 on NOBEL PRIZE ALERT at Dave Barry's Blog
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
Scientists invent a wearable TESTICLE-cooling device that 'cups' testes in a chilled pouch to boost men's fertility (Thanks to Catherine DeLorey, Hayseed Tom, Mac Turl and Geoff)
Hello, yes I like to report, two, umm, I mean one suspicious package...
Commented Jan 3, 2019 on JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE at Dave Barry's Blog
JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE
Florida lifeguards find brick of cocaine with $35K street value on beach (Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "Great white, dude.") Bullet holes found in home at North Fort Myers retirement community Wild monkeys with herpes in Central Florida: Population on the verge of doubling (Thanks to pharmar...
If he was Catholic only a fish taco for Christmas Eve would do...
Commented Dec 28, 2018 on SEEMS REASONABLE ENOUGH at Dave Barry's Blog
SEEMS REASONABLE ENOUGH
A Dallas man spent Christmas Eve attempting to carjack drivers at gunpoint and demanding they take him to get tacos, police say. (Thanks to Raymond Koonce, pharmaross and Not My Usual Alias)
I personally haven't noticed any significant differences between WASPs, WOPs, or JAPs. More research needed.
Commented Dec 3, 2018 on YOU CAN’T SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU CAN’T SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH
Gynaecologist warns women against using wasp nests to tighten vaginas (Thanks to pharmaross)
But I thought wasp's nests was the bee's knees.
Commented Dec 3, 2018 on YOU CAN’T SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU CAN’T SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH
Gynaecologist warns women against using wasp nests to tighten vaginas (Thanks to pharmaross)
Friendly skys indeed. How many miles for that upgrade?
Commented Nov 9, 2018 on EXTREME BEVERAGE SERVICE at Dave Barry's Blog
EXTREME BEVERAGE SERVICE
Flight attendant breastfeeds passenger's baby (Thanks to Steve K)
More...
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