Shmarya, I'm not sure there are as few BT's as you think in the US. Israel is a whole other culture, but given that a large percentage of Americans (There is a Pew Research report to back it up http://www.pewforum.org/2009/04/27/faith-in-flux/) who practice a somewhat different faith than their parents, and America's high rate or religiosity, a crop of BT's should be inevitable, whether they migrate to modern orthodoxy, traditional Judaism, or something to the right. My exposure to Chabad and its chumrot kept me from becoming increasing my obsevance sooner. Modern Orthodoxy on the other hand was much more inviting. And again BT for Americans and Israelis may be different, and it is surely different for men and women, and people of different ages.

Please forgive my ignorance, but Israel is another culture and how much teeth do these rabbis' decrees have? Are there religious (Religious has a whole other meaning in Israel than it does in the United States) schools that award academic, high school diplomas to which parents can send daughters? Are there Orthodox rabbis who support secular education even if it is a minority view? Are there men demanding high earning wives to support them and women who want to earn a good living to support "learning husbands? Are there alternative schadchanim who will arrange marriages for earning males, women with academic diplomas/degrees, and others who get "shunned?"

I find that most young, frum males have VERY LITTLE idea of how females operate because they did not have them as classmates, friends, or competitors as they were growing up. One young man (who shall remain nameless) expressed surprise to me that "women wear a different outfit every day!" Conversely, males who wear a school uniform every day, may never learn how to "get a look together." I think this rabbi needs to take the shoe metaphor further. Before you try on shoes or ask the saleswoman to bring them out (female shoe stores work like this with a very hands off approach) you browse and window shop. I always think that group dating (just a mixed group going out) or co-ed activities might be useful so each sex can learn about the other in a no-pressure atmosphere. This would make for more realistic expectations on both sides.

I hate to say it, but it's the rebbe's sukkah and he makes the rules. The rude Hasid should have asked permission (preferably in advance) and if the answer was "no." that's all she wrote. Also, if he knows the host (Rebbe) doesn't like smart phones, keep the thing turned to silent or off and in a pocket or briefcase. There's no harm in being discrete and polite even at a bacchanal.

Mark S., While mice, cats, humans, and probably even my turtle all share the same cellular, biochemical (metabolic??) pathways, we very clearly all have different nutritional needs, and feeding habits. The red eared slider chews cuttle bone and thinks it a great delicacy. Cats make their own vitamin C, can't taste sweet, and my pair eat palmetto bugs. Cats also require the amino acid, taurine and aspirin is toxic for them. Humans see in three colors to choose ripe fruit, can't make vitamin C (not an issue if you eat plenty of fruit), and make our own taurine, and aspirin is a wonder drug for us. Lab mice are relatively cheap and inbred enough to cancel out genetic factors. I think (though am not sure) that the animal with the closest digestion/nutritional requirements to us (besides fellow primates perhaps) is the pig.

Hmmm.... Interesting study but NOT conclusive. First, mice are not humans, and they certainly not adolescent boys. Second, many adolescent boys play sports, ride bikes, etc... Also, what would have happened if the mice ate lots of fruit to get their fructose? In the US it is not unheard of to have fruit with every meal. Mice, on the other hand, are somewhat omnivorous grain eaters, but not big fruit eaters. Mice also eat their own droppings to recycle nutrients (Please don't remove this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fancy_mouse#Feeding ) Humans, while also omnivores, are big fruit fans. Our eyesight, taste buds, etc.. are all designed to seek out sweet, bright colored, ripe, fruit.

I hate to say this but I agree with a lot of what this moralist says. The part about not being a guest or having guests at Passover is simply not true. But as for not buying kosher le Pesach, this, that and the other, it's a very valid point and not even that controversial. I've heard this argument voiced for reasons of cost, authenticity, nutrition etc... The main problem with the piece is that it is jejune. It does not define heavily processed foods. Does this author mean mayonaise, canned olives, canned sardines, canned fruit, or those matzoh buns, cake mixes, Kosher le Pesach noodles etc... He also offers no solution such as buying more fresh fruits and vegetables, making salad with olive oil and lemon juice dressing or cole slaw with Passover mayo, using apple slices instead of sweet pickles or sweet pickle relish etc... Getting down to specifics or making this a whole segment on a cheap, healthy, and holy Passover would have been the way to go along with an editor to hammer the prose smooth and readable. Happy Passover y'all!

m, These days I live in Georgia, but I spent seven wonderful years in Utica, NY (Oneida County!), and I was raised in Westchester County and went to college in the Southern Tier and Central NY.

Long ago I used to be a Democratic Party Committee woman in Oneida County, and I doubt things have changed in "Upstate" New York since I've been gone, but fights over ballots, petition signatures, and just about everything else are fairly routine in that part of the world. If you are active in your political party, you end up sooner or later with "watcher papers." This means you do a shift as a poll watcher. Quite literally you sit just outside or inside the polling place and watch. In the bad old days, you had a roll of quarters. These days it would be a cell phone. Anything irregular you see, legal or otherwise, (i.e. paper ballots as opposed to mechanical or electronic machine voting), contested registrations etc... you report to your party boss. My guess is that both sides in this election had watchers, and the next round will be accusations of irregularities from the other side. Also, records for all voters are at the Orange County Board of Elections (I believe this is Orange County) and on computer. It is fairly easy to determine who gave what address, and then run it through Mapquest or reverse directory lookup to ferret out fraud, especially considering the number of people involved, especially since there appear to be eager party workers to do the job. I suspect both sides know this, but I could be wrong. New York City does not work like Oneida County(It has a different governmental structure than the rest of teh state) and Orange County probably works a lot more like Oneida County. And yes, this battle has made me actually root for the Satmars. Orange County, like much of New York State outside the five boroughs, Nassau, Suffolk, Westchester, and Rockland Counties is depressed! It's basically the colonies. Young people leave because there are no jobs. A 396 unit development means construction jobs filled by local labor. Also the new neighbors buy groceries, diapers, gasoline, etc... I've asked myself: What kind of people spit at money? I also wonder why the Satmar did not pick a location further north or west. Beyond an even uncomfortable driving distance to New York City, the economic situation is even bleaker. Counties deep in the colonies compete for state prisons because they bring jobs, so you get the idea. And yes, you can bring up examples from Rockland County of why Chasidim should be unwelcome, but Rockland is the northern extreme of the New York Metro/Downstate area. Orange County is just over the border from that.

I don't think this has anything to do with being Charedi, Orthodox, or even Jewish. Thousands if not millions of Americans go through two to four years of college dorm life with full board, and it does not turn them into food thieves, and parents of all faiths often try to provide a lot/too much for their children. I myself had full room and board for three out of my four undergrad years, and a stipend that covered my living expenses in grad school, but I never once would have dreamed of stealing food from my parents. I think this is a case of two groups forgetting two simple rules. For the children: "Ask before yout ake something." And for the parents: "Don't promise what you can't deliver and deliver what you promise." By the way, from what I have heard and what I read on this blog, board plans in Yeshivot leave a lot to be desired. Maybe better board with an intent to fill gargantuan, male appetites might go a long way in educating about low-cost food options. Also strictly enforcing rules about property and mooching and personal space in the dormitories might breed better manners in young adults. Also, young women, who are not socially around young men on a day to day basis, may not know that a twenty-two year old male is a bottomless pit. Where is a good course in bachelor/bachlorette foods along with budgeting when we need it?

The room is also full of humans breathing all sorts of airborne bacteria. It's not an isolation ward. The chicken's head is not really an issue, unless someone petted her, but her vent and feathers are... The bag she is in probably prevents mites, feathers, feces, and uric acid from falling on any one. The handler is also wearing rubber gloves. She and her friend are the only ones touching the bird. I believe salmonella spreads by contact. Doctors talk about a fecal-oral route of transmission. I also believe that infection control cleared the ritual because the bird handler wore gloves and a gown, and there was a bag for the bird. In the US, pets are now being allowed to visit their hospitalized owners: http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/when-best-friends-can-visit/ And sometimes parents sometimes do not have adequate supplies for a newborn, so on the way home from the hospital they stop at WalMart and bring the baby inside while they shop.

I think we can put our minds at rest. The young man wielding the chicken was gowned and gloved, and the chicken was wrapped in something as well. I think these folks cleared the procedure with social workers and infection control. That said, the chaplains and social workers were not well versed enough in Judaism to ask that the custom be done with an envelope or scarf full of money.

I think the article needs to be retitled: Idiot Bus Driver Drives Off Before Woman Unloads both Kid and Packages. Maybe I'm still in a bad mood from almost getting passed by (TWICE!) by one of our local bus drivers, late at night, when buses only run every forty minutes. I've told the driver who did this to me that I needed to do handsprings to get his attention. Drivers sometimes cut corners, and this one saw the woman board with both a pile of packages and a carriage.

Yes, Allan I agree the principle of the yeshiva that let these young men hitch hike should and the corporation behind the yeshiva needs to be sued out of existence. This one is not the parents' fault. A boarding school for minors is in loco parentis (Takes the parents place). That said, if the IDF, and other concerned people want the problem of hitch hiking to cease the solution lies with the eighteen to twenty-one year old (and young adult, but mostly very young) students. These young men need to take a pledge to stop hitch hiking and follow through. I remember as a teen at CAU (Cornell Adult University) and a pre-college program at Bucknell, the counselors had us walk everywhere, and cared less if we complained. The counselors also did not care about the kind of stuff that might have caused an adult unnecessary concern. I walked and hiked miles in flip-flops. No one batted an eye. Twenty year olds have strong feet, and fifteen to seventeen year olds are equally resilient. No authority figure told me, but from the eighteen to twenty year old counselors I learned that I'd be walking miles when I went away to college, especially if I got into Cornell. I spent the summer after I graduated from high school getting in shape. The men just a few years older than these teens and the oldest among the teens need to set norms. Peer pressure will do the rest, even when authority figures don't enforce rules.

PS, I'm not sure if Canada has a law similar to ASFA, but there probably is a clock that has to run so that the parents can try to get their kids back etc.... And in Canada teens also age out.

MM, ASFA (which is the law that includes the 22 month clock) is federal so it applies everywhere. Teens being able to stop termination is a New York State law. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adoption_and_Safe_Families_Act

Alter, would you be offended if I call you naive. In the United States when older children (teens) are taken into foster care, years pass (if the family does not fill reunification requirements.). In the United States there is a 22 month clock that starts running. The child must be in foster care for fifteen of those twenty-two months before social services can even begin to file to sever parental rights. Meanwhile, if the child reaches the age of fourteen in New York State (and some other states), he or she can stop the termination of parental rights simply by asking it to be stopped. And for the oldest children (the fifteen year old for example), he or she ages out of the system. They all do eventually, and then you can guess what they do.... I don't know if they deprogram kids, but right now I'm thinking of all the children taken from that ranch in Texas into foster care and then after two weeks and the work of the ACLU returned to their polygamous, fundamentalist, Mormon families. In short, I'm not as sanguine as you.

My advice is a bit different than Mr. Haskelle's. 1) SL will hijack your brain. You can control the time you are inworld and the money you spend, but I at least coudln't control this effect. You will occasionally see the world through your avie's eyes. You will see her face instead of your own in dreams. You will look for her among crowds on the bus. You will imagine your home town as an SL landscape. I wake up in the morning saying "Today I am going in world" unless it is the Sabbath or I am away from home. It may be hours by the way until I am inworld, but I say it anyway. 2) SL is monetized, but you do not have to spend money unless you choose to. This is true even if your payment info is on file. 3) You do not have to buy any of the must-haves. If something on one of those lists for newbies does not seem urgent, don't buy it or rush to acquire it. See #4 for more about this. I found I did not need many of the things on the "must have" lists, and that the lists left off a few items, notably a posing stand/stool, a bathing suit, skis, a swimming animation, skis, ice skates, and warm winter clothing. A dry suit is also really great for an avie to own, in my opinion. 4) Different people really do want different things. Some people don't care if their avie is beautiful. Some people don't want to ever learn to build. Some people spend way too much money but get wonderful results. Some people never leave their ethnic enclave. 5) Find a road or just open grass if you are really adventurous and go for a walk/swim. See what there is to see. It's always amazing what you find. 6) The map and its search capability and the search engine are your best friends when looking for new places. Always do a bit of random travel. And don't be afraid to go where English is not the first language.

I think there is too much text in the poster for it to be aimed at young girls. More likely the target is adult balae tsuva, but whoever wrote it doesn't know garbage about women's fashion. A skirt with a small slit in the back, is in many ways more modest because the slit helps it drape more loosely and lets the woman wearing it walk more naturally. As for "too loud" or "too trendy," fashion rules for men and women are just plain different. Your "too loud" is my "bright, cheerful, and flattering," and brunettes often look their best in red, orange, and pink. We live in a world where a bright red pullover or turtle neck does not mean "prostitute or scarlet woman." As for "trendy," sometimes that which is trendy is also modest. Think hoodies. A hoody worn over a shell or blouse is long sleeved, not form fitting etc... The same is true for many sweater styles. Hey maybe Chabad should hire me as fashion dictator.

Jancsibacsi, Could it be that Rockland County and Israeli Satmar are different in the way they behave in public, or maybe Satmar are better behaved away from their home turf than on it? When I was much younger, I demonstrated for a lot of "lost" left wing causes in Washington, DC (8 hours by bus that left at one in the morning.) and our demonstrations were a lot rowdier. I remember a counterprotest run by the Moonies. We had our peacekeepers between us and them. We needed those peace keepers. It's easy for a peaceable demonstration to feel like a mob. It was easy to want to shout as a few of us did: "Moonies are loonies" and we probably could have done worse. Sorry, those Satmars protesting in Manhattan did one very good job.

I don't agree with the Satmars. I should not have to say I don't agree with them, but I think they did a good job with this protest. Seeing it as an outside, I would see a VERY ORDERLY and DISCIPLINED demonstration including well made signs and street theater complete with costumes. I don't think the police had any ground complaining about what must have been a disgustingly easy gig, since the Satmar even self policed. I'm glad I live in a country where these people can protest. They didn't convince me their cause was right, but they convinced me that they are a respectful and well behaved lot.

Were I the Satmar Minister of Mayhem and Strategic Planning, maybe I'd go to court. Maybe I wouldn't, but I would definitely remind the Bloomingburg Town Fathers of the nuclear option: We'd just send all our female students to the local public schools. Sure, they might have to read more secular books. Sure, we might have to work out some kind of work around regarding gym uniforms. Sure, the classes would be co-ed, but there would be more of our daughters than there would be of your sons. Also, our daughters don't speak English as a first language, and the county (or BOCES) would get stuck with having to scramble to implement and fund a bilingual education program for Yiddish speakers. I'm no fan of Satmars by the way, but I am even less of a fan of NIMBY, and I don't think the Satmars have the nerve to threaten and prepare to implement my nuclear option.

Shmarya, I know about Ramapo. The Chasidim control/dominate the school board and starved out the public schools. That's not the case in Bloomingburg. I was NOT aware that a lot of the housing is tax exempt. I was wondering why the school district could not tax multi-unit housing above a certain size at higher rates, but never mind.

Trueyid, I'm no fan of Satmar but this time, I think you are on to something. To me, the fear of newcomers costing more than they are worth in Bloomingburg doesn't seem to wash. New York, when I left it some time ago, was a property tax state. That means that whoever rents out those town houses (or owns them if they are condominiums) pays property taxes to fund the schools. Since the Satmar won't fill the local public schools but only require transportation and BOCES and a few other things, doesn't this make them a financial wash? That there may have been deceit involved in getting the land, I don't deny, but the tax argument doesn't seem to hold, and I'm wondering if trying to block their girls' school to keep them out is not just good, old NIMBY.

ah-pee-chorus, "what's with the fanatics" is that the weather is getting cold. Surely, the Satmar and Bobov rabbis are NOT forbidding girls in religious schools from wearing shoes (and possibly belts), so what sort of clothing made of leather might Haredi girls wear? Coats or possibly blasers come to mind. Leather coats are expensive! Leather blazers cost twice what good sweaters do. I could see that spending $200-$300 on a teenage daughter's coat is immodest when there are four or five other children to feed and some girls in the class wear hand me downs. I think all the talk about the coats not being Jewish is horse hockey. I think there is some kind of materialistic craze going on in religious girls schools.