I would have gone with a good old fashioned telenovela turned up to 11, myself -- something about shrieking in Spanish tends to keep out the riff-raff. But I can't say I would have done much different, myself, and I'm a grown-ass woman with a CHILD. She's totally going to win at the Passive-Aggressive Olympics someday, if she doesn't win the World Eye-Rolling Championships first, because she has a GREAT coach.

I want the vacation they're having. For my summer vacation, I'm going CAMPING.

They look happy. It looks good on them.

My daughter just got (what looks like) that same Fancy Nancy playset that Violet Affleck has! Celebrities, they're just like us! (In a good way, this time, I think.)

I don't even own a pair of stilettos -- I can barely walk in FLATS -- but I'd get a pair if I won one of these books. For serious.

That photo of you and Finn? You look STUNNING. Your skin is TO DIE, those glasses suit you, and most of all, it is FANTASTIC to see you smile. (I think I might be flirting with you, a little bit, but still: I covet your skin.) (And your kittens.)

I think I might be overly cynical, but I think that the only way you can feel like you've lived a life worth living any more is if the WBC wants to picket you when you're dead. My not-so-secret hope is that when the Phelpses get to their own personal version of Hell, there is nothing but Dio music and Heath Ledger movies.

Maybe Katie is wearing sandal socks? (example here: http://www.footsmart.com/c-womens-socks-sandals-clogs-167.aspx)

According to the Internet, Parks and Rec is being held to midseason. At least, according to Michael Ausiello, anyway: http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2010/05/16/nbc-new-fall-schedule/

HOW CAN I GET ON THIS SHOW? i need serious help, of the type that only pandora and jujubee can provide. i totes have girl crushes (??) on pandora and jujubee.

We just saw ducks in flagrante at the park the other day, and I thought about these movies from a clip I saw on "The Soup." Also, my Green Porno name is "Peppermint Elegans," which makes me sound like someone who should be on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Suddenly I feel A LOT better about that phase I went through in adolescence where I dyed my hair green and listened to The Cure for 6 years.

I wonder, is there music for the birdie funeral service? Because I suspect that "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" would be very appropriate. I have a gorgeous version by Marvin Gaye that I can loan you.

I kind of think Finn and Toby are perfectly cromulent Southern names. Very "Tom Sawyer"-y. I just hope they don't expect their dishes to be filled with warm cream and good bourbon all the time, because hoo-boy! But I know you and Miss Lulu will keep them from getting all fratty. Which is a very good thing.

I've been considering trying a couch-to-5k, because everybody else seems to be doing it. Then I remembered that (1) I hate running, and (2) I really hate running. But everybody doing these C25K programs at least inspired me to cut back on Mountain Dew and stop eating Cheetos for breakfast. So maybe eventually I'll be likewise inspired to try getting some (gulp!) exercise.

This episode gave me PTSD or something, because I totally was Rachel Berry in high school. Why are high school guys such douchenozzles? How come they're allowed to talk smack and act out but the girls are not? And how come girls like Quinn, who are pretty and sneaky and know how to cry on command, get a free pass on all their crap? Why is everybody so stupid? Even Rachel's so-called friends walked out on her in this episode, and Schue looked like he smelled devilled-egg fart the whole time. Seriously, this one had me in tears. I ... have issues. (This is why I couldn't watch "My So-Called Life," BTW. Can't separate the reality from the fiction, because I identify with both. No wonder my therapist has a beach house AND a boat.)