I have had to use that stuff because of things my children have rigged for me to trip over going down the stairs (don't ask). Silly string can actually be a liability. First, the "string" material isn't very heavy. Second, the can is pressurized. You can't really go around with aerosol cans, now can you? Third, I'll tell you what works--you send your kid ahead of you. Need to clear a room? Need to look for booby traps? Send someone on ahead who can afford to fall down the stairs and/or set off a suspended Claymore mine. And, no. I won't respond to any further questions. I think we just need to let it lie. Thank you.

That's all well and good, but how does all of this square with me being able to do whatever I want to do and buy things I cannot afford? We're talking the youth of today, right? Did I wander in from Tumblr and forget to post about the piercings I got at the mall? All kidding aside, the outcry over having to do something that benefits our society would be so loud, no one would be able to hear themselves think. Forget the kids and their carping and complaining. Think of what the parents would do to get their kid out of having to mop floors or stand still for twenty minutes.

Exactly right, sir. My bad. Those bastards needed stringing up, and the war time powers of the President, no matter who he is, must be respected.