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Grandma said you've got to collect before you select. So I did. Now I'm slowly letting go.
Recent Activity
I need to confess something deeply shameful right now. I killed a peace lily -- a plant generally considered one of the easiest to keep alive. A peace lily will tell you when it's thirsty -- its leaves will droop... Continue reading
Posted Apr 3, 2018 at GIGI GOES GAGA
There are a few things I used to know for sure; for instance, I once knew what to expect whenever I went back home. That mom would wake me up in the morning to ask what I wanted for breakfast... Continue reading
Posted Jan 14, 2018 at GIGI GOES GAGA
After years of resolving to overhaul my life every January 1st, I decided a while back to keep it as general as possible: be grateful and kind, try something new, don't be afraid to fail. Committing to a gym membership... Continue reading
Posted Jan 7, 2018 at GIGI GOES GAGA
December 9, 2016 (Day 66) My dear Pilar, I hope you don't mind if I'm writing this letter ahead of schedule. When you want to tell someone you love her and express how much she has meant to you, it's... Continue reading
Posted Dec 4, 2016 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I started this blog 12 years ago, the same year Zuckerberg launched theFacebook at Harvard, and a full year before he dropped the "the," moved the company to Palo Alto, and opened registration to anyone over the age of 13.... Continue reading
Posted Nov 27, 2016 at GIGI GOES GAGA
On the drive home one late night recently, I peeked out sideways and up at the stars. The sky was clear and calm, almost eerily so; the lights were brilliantly bright, like a beacon calling me home. I thought about... Continue reading
Posted Feb 20, 2015 at GIGI GOES GAGA
Hi dad, I lost you exactly one year ago, although I remember all the details of that awful day like it was only yesterday. I remember how much you hated having that tube down your throat, the way it looked... Continue reading
Posted Jan 28, 2015 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I used to spend too much time daydreaming, I thought. I would mull over stories I'd read and make up my own, never concerned about how real their characters and plotlines appeared. They were all quite real because they kicked... Continue reading
Posted Jan 22, 2015 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I put up this blog almost 11 years ago. I used to post a couple of times a week, then about once a week then roughly once a month, and now only a few times a year. I was thinking... Continue reading
Posted Jan 19, 2015 at GIGI GOES GAGA
My freshman english professor Mr. Torres, who would occasionally ask a few students to write down selected passages of their essay assignment on the board, walk over and then proceed to shred practically every letter of every written word and... Continue reading
Posted Aug 16, 2014 at GIGI GOES GAGA
"I have a hole in my heart," I said softly as I hugged my old friend, Mark. "I know. I'm sorry, I love you," he replied. It's been two weeks since my dad died; everything since has been a blur.... Continue reading
Posted Feb 13, 2014 at GIGI GOES GAGA
My father passed away a little before 10 am on Wednesday, January 29. I'll post more about that next; for now, I'd like to share the eulogy I gave at his state funeral on Sunday. I had written a draft... Continue reading
Posted Feb 3, 2014 at GIGI GOES GAGA
2013 was supposed to be my year. In a way, it was. A few weighty matters that had been awaiting resolution wrapped up this past year, finally, and I can now breathe again. But it was a year of painful... Continue reading
Posted Jan 1, 2014 at GIGI GOES GAGA
"You live WHERE now?" Although I moved to Seattle a little more than two years ago I'm still blissfully unaware of geographical connotations. For instance, back in Los Angeles I knew there could be differences between living north or south... Continue reading
Posted Oct 18, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
My last post was four months ago -- and so much has happened since then. (My next few posts will be about that.) This blog was down for most of that time, as a handful of you might have noticed.... Continue reading
Posted Oct 13, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
My sisters put me in-charge of delivering mom's eulogy on behalf of the family. For the four days prior to the funeral mass, I had no idea what I was going to say -- no doubt jet lag and exhaustion... Continue reading
Posted Jun 3, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I phoned my mother to greet her for Mother's Day. She no longer speaks; she grunts, no doubt because she's highly sedated from the pain medication. My sister S, who sat by her side, asked her gently, "Mom, are you... Continue reading
Posted May 14, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I married a good man, a decent man, a funny man. After more than a decade since we first met, he's still that same kind of man. But we're no longer married. We now live on nearly opposite sides of... Continue reading
Posted Mar 20, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I decided to ask my true love for what I wanted most: a can of Elnett hairspray. Forget a box of chocolates and overpriced roses; I much prefer a large bag of Maltesers... Continue reading
Posted Jan 31, 2013 at GIGI GOES GAGA
My mother looks at me straight in the face -- but she's not there. When I look at her I remember the mother I've always known: strong, feisty, independent. I know she's still all these things, but now her limbs... Continue reading
Posted Dec 10, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I went through a (thankfully) brief, awkward period as a tomboy in my early teens. It wasn't because I was good at sports, played with guns and cars, or was able to throw a decent right hook. In fact, I... Continue reading
Posted Oct 30, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA
These days I find myself wishing people would simply stop trying to impose their personal beliefs on others, thinking their way is the only way, that it's the right way. There is a thin line between advocating for one's convictions... Continue reading
Posted Oct 20, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I still remember the first time I heard that fairytales don't come true, that there is no "happily ever after." I misunderstood the lesson then, as I misunderstood it for a long time afterward. At first I thought it meant... Continue reading
Posted Sep 20, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA
Sometime in my early 20s, after I'd moved into my own apartment and decided to put off my last semester of college due to sheer lack of time from working two jobs, I received an unexpected visit from a school... Continue reading
Posted Aug 14, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA
I've been asking the same question for the past year and a half, practically since I met him. How will I know? He was 16, partly blind and deaf, eerily silent, arthritic, and showing signs of canine alzheimer's. You can... Continue reading
Posted Aug 9, 2012 at GIGI GOES GAGA