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Can someone elaborate on blogits in KC?
Toggle Commented Apr 10, 2009 on FLATULENCE IN THE NEWS at Dave Barry's Blog
I think she needs to wear a color of lipstick that's easier for Americans to deal with.
Toggle Commented Apr 10, 2009 on IT'S NOT ABOUT RACE at Dave Barry's Blog
If they ban bikini waxing, people will try to wax themselves. This will be dangerous.
Toggle Commented Mar 21, 2009 on WE HAVE OVERCOME at Dave Barry's Blog
Hmmm. I was going to send a teabag to my Senator and Representative. Maybe I should send a red rubber nose, instead. Or both?
The more I look at this... it really is the socks that make the man in this case.
Toggle Commented Mar 1, 2009 on LONDON FASHION OUTLOOK at Dave Barry's Blog
Freud. would. love. this.
Toggle Commented Mar 1, 2009 on THIS IS A JOKE at Dave Barry's Blog
She was on her way to the Slurp and Burp, I hear.
How long before signs that say, "You can't come in here with candy and flowers," go up on every bank in the KC metro? And then the rest of the country?
Save a horse. Ride the SLUT.
(Secret Libertarian handshake.) Is there some kind of test you have to pass to become a law-maker to show that you are incapable of seeing the big picture? It's like when my girls lose recess at school for forgetting a piece of paper, but then the kid who pushes one of them in the mud or throws rocks(!) at them at school gets off with an, "I'm sorry." Logic? Big picture? Where are you? Selling fake drugs only hurts the people trying to buy real drugs. I have to say I would rather they shoot up fish bait. How about instead of fighting the war on drugs we just flood the streets with fake drugs so no one dares to shoot up because they don't know what they are getting. Oh, wait, they already don't know what they are getting.
Toggle Commented Sep 14, 2007 on OK, WE'RE A LITTLE CONFUSED at Dave Barry's Blog
I can only love myself when I am six meters from myself.
Toggle Commented Sep 12, 2007 on CYPRUS at Dave Barry's Blog
"'We have been told the electronic waves given off by the 'Love Bug' would affect military frequencies, but we have told locals that we have a lot of other devices that are not banned which will satisfy their needs. After all, it's better to make love, not war.'" One Dr Strangelove moment we are glad to avoid.
Toggle Commented Sep 11, 2007 on CYPRUS at Dave Barry's Blog
Those massages are also banned in Cyprus.
Toggle Commented Sep 11, 2007 on SQUIRREL TERRORISM at Dave Barry's Blog
"He could count up to six, including zero, was able to express desires, including his frustration with the repetitive research." As a grad student, I caw-caw a hearty AMEN to that sentiment.
Toggle Commented Sep 11, 2007 on R.I.P. at Dave Barry's Blog
Remember when the guys had to wear the same suit/bowtie and girls the same dress for Senior pictures? Those were the good old days when kids noo how to spell.
Toggle Commented Sep 11, 2007 on IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME at Dave Barry's Blog
We interrupt this cat fight to bring you Katie Horner. So sorry, but I haven't posted links here before and don't know how. I mean, I hardly even post.
Toggle Commented Sep 11, 2007 on MISSOURI at Dave Barry's Blog
All I could think was that this must be some kind of code. Unfortunately, I am too tired to try to solve it at this time. Besides, all it will say is, "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
The man took off his pants and put his shoes and socks back on, or he pulled his pants off over his shoes and socks in a drunken state. Alcohol is wonderful.
This is just the kind of clean fun I hope my kids get suspended for. I would make their suspension a big party to reward them.
Ugh. Hugo Chavez. I loved ubetcha's theory of the eternal torture of Castro.
Toggle Commented Aug 26, 2007 on FIDEL CASTRO UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
She was probably nervous and couldn't finish this sentence coherently, probably because she didn't start it coherently, sent a few brain cells to Iraq to help them out, or like such as: "Our education like South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as..."
This logo is going down!
Toggle Commented Aug 21, 2007 on READER SURVEY at Dave Barry's Blog
Daisy, are you sure this school hasn't already been started in California?
Toggle Commented Aug 20, 2007 on IT'S BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIME at Dave Barry's Blog
Snork @ daisymae! Snork @ Siouxie!
I think you can look at each other at these ice shows, but never say, "Fa Mi, Rey Mi."
Toggle Commented Aug 18, 2007 on GETTING NAKED at Dave Barry's Blog