We all have our own “it,” that something or someone in our lives that threatens to suck the living right out of us. Whether it’s a rotten boss, a surly spouse, a wild child, an unfulfilled passion, health issues, or debt coming out the wazoo. For my first 43 years, I felt apologetic that I was “it-free” when everyone I knew was either full of “it” or involved in a daily duel to keep “it” at bay. I felt compassion for the friends and family members who shared their struggles, but also grateful to not fully understand them. If I’m... Continue reading

I took a break from my blog to focus on finishing a manuscript that's been dying to travel from my own internal hard drive and out into my computer's. I just sent a proposal to a literary agent and now hold the wonderful feeling of "hopecitement" that some new adventure might come of it. It makes me realize that my most dynamic phases in life are when I've put myself in a position to dream big. Sure, many of them fizzled out, but once I accepted the fact that not every scheme I had would turn out, I discovered that... Continue reading

People are often shocked that there’s no licensing requirement for prospective parents. And who can blame them? There’s no other job that lasts longer, requires more sacrifice of self, or makes an otherwise stable adult want to bang her head against the kitchen table. What I now know – as my husband and I hit the midway mark in raising two teenagers – is that the proponents of licensing either have very young children, or have raised children who are now safely in their 30s. Those of us currently raising sixteen-year olds know all too well that a license requires... Continue reading

Elitism of any kind has always invoked the gag-me-with-a-spoon reflex. In fact, some displays of snobbery gag me with enough spoons for a State dinner party. I find the snoots hard enough to stomach when I’m dealing with an isolated individual. A Lone Ranger of pomposity, if you will. But when the “tomsnootery” is sponsored through the forming of clubs, well, someone had better hold my hair back. It’s no surprise, then, that my discovery of the existence of Mensa, the intellectual society for those whose IQ is in the top 2% of the population, went down like a spoonful... Continue reading

There are so many sound bites I absorbed in my youth that I interpret differently as I get older. The one that’s replaying in my mind recently is the much mocked “you like me, you really like me” from Sally Field’s 1984 Oscar acceptance speech. When she received this award, I was a 16-year old girl who had been raised with the same sugar-and-spice messaging that most girls were, and are. If you are as sweet as a See’s butterscotch square and only as spicy as a dash of cinnamon in a bowl full of oatmeal cookie batter, you are... Continue reading

I’m admittedly conflict averse. So much so that I’m realizing only now why the cynics mocked Rodney King after the LA riots in 1991 for saying: “Can’t we all just get along?” The real answer to his question, at least for optimistic and civilized thinkers, is that we can get along most of the time. Probably even 95% of it, if we’re committed to the cause of drama-free living. But sometimes, unfortunately, we need to channel a little less Rodney and a little more Malcom X, by following the wisdom attributed to him in the quote: “If you don’t stand... Continue reading

Resolutions about weight loss are too cliché for someone like me. And I’m not saying this because I find myself too sophisticated for such simple pursuits. Au contraire. You see, for a gal whose favorite holiday pastime is the deforestation of every tree planted by Reese’s in my supermarket, a need for self-control is sort of implied. To compound the problem, I not only plowed through acres of these trees as a one-woman combine, I encouraged the little Noble Firs of the confection world to stay awhile by doing very little exercise to burn off their heavenly union of peanut... Continue reading

Like most of you, I have a love-exhaustion relationship with the holidays. Most of the love is experienced between January and November when the stress of the season is successfully repressed and I get my turn to idealize it with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. And then along comes December again and it’s time to make merry while maintaining the frenzy of home and work. Without fail, I get overwhelmed to the rim and then sprinkle on a dash of guilt over not feeling more fa-la-la-la-la about the “most wonderful time of the year.” The good news is... Continue reading

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were.” – Richard Bach Even though I believe this quote to be as true as it is cliché, every time I run across it I’m taken back to my teenage bedroom, where these scripted words adorned a cheesy Scholastic Books poster of a meadow. I felt sophisticated and profound by endorsing this message and believed with conviction that I understood its meaning. Then again, I was also sure I should be swooning over the posters of Leif Garrett and Shaun Cassidy that... Continue reading