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Sharon J. Anderson
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So sorry that you lost your savings during your divorce. So did my partner more than a decade ago. Yes, I'm fortunate that I have ever-diminishing savings, but it was not my plan -- when I entered my 60s -- to spend those savings on basic living expenses. I was hoping to buy a somewhat larger free-standing home (I've been living in a very small townhouse for more than 27 years) but now I can't even qualify for a mortgage. After paying my monthly health insurance and Coop fee, I have approximately $130 for all remaining monthly expenses: utilities, cellphone, food, gas, etc. . . . and that's if the small monthly retainer I get from my one client ($1,850.00) continues. I have no contract with this client and can be cut off at any time.
Toggle Commented Apr 14, 2017 on Help Wanted, My Ass at Sassistas
. . . except Andy no longer has to worry about the spirit-dibilitating monthly exercise of portioning out what's left of your savings until you reach retirement age. I know I'm not the only Andy out there. I know. I know. My mother once said, "I know compared to the rest of the world our family's problems are a drop in the bucket. But by god, these are our problems and this is our bucket." This is my bucket. Fuck it.
Toggle Commented Mar 28, 2017 on Help Wanted, My Ass at Sassistas
A year ago, March 21, 2016 -- following the suicide of a baby boomer close to my age in the center of my town who could not find work -- I published the following post on Sassistas: I'm still Andy. Fuck, I'll always be Andy.
Toggle Commented Mar 28, 2017 on Help Wanted, My Ass at Sassistas
When I share with friends my years-long struggle to find work as my income decreases at least 20% each year from the previous year, they are always stunned. "But you're so talented. I don't get it." But I will also be 64 in a couple of months. I can't change my age. Being seasoned, being wise has no equity in today's predominately millennial-powered businesses. (NOTE: these businesses for the most part were originally founded by white men my age whose son/daughter became president or CEO when the founder decided to retire to the Hamptons. OR the millennial president or CEO received a huge loan from a family member to start the business.) A couple of years ago, I did get an interview (as a favor from an acquaintance) to take on a temporary marketing project with a real estate company. The VP of Marketing, his iPad in hand, asked me how I made connections. I responded, "I listen. I nurture relationships." Barely looking up from his iPad, he responded: "Hmmmmm. Old school. That's old school."
Toggle Commented Mar 28, 2017 on Help Wanted, My Ass at Sassistas
Today (Tuesday, March 28) is National Pet Day. I did not know this when I wrote this post which features a dog to tie in with the New York Times article linked at the end of the post. Kismet, I suppose. Or Petmet.
Toggle Commented Mar 28, 2017 on Help Wanted, My Ass at Sassistas
Hey all -- thank you for reading Sassistas again . . . and commenting. As most of you know, the past four years have been challenging and continue to be. Sometimes a girl can take only SO MUCH. But then she must get up off her ass and try, try again. To paraphrase Beth's paraphrase of Thich Nhat Hanh, "I'll try to post on Sassistas even when I'm tired and weary, because there's much compassion there." Love to all.
Toggle Commented Mar 27, 2017 on Living is Hard at Sassistas
Over the past four years, I've formally applied -- emailed a cover letter and my resume -- to approximately 40 companies searching for a copywriter or marketing professional or brand specialist or creative director or editor or speechwriter or assistant theater manager or [fill in the blank]. Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2017 at Sassistas
You're welcome, my friend. I know I sent this poem to you a couple of weeks ago. It stays with me. Yes, life is hard but worth it. Why? I've learned in the past week that it's dangerous -- and actually futile -- to measure life in traditional ways such as income, material possessions, social standing, etc. Larry Smith's poem, "Following the Road," doesn't say this explicitly, but his lingering pain is related to love. He has left his wife at the airport. She is flying out to help their daughter whose baby won't eat. The worth of love is many times measured in lingering pain. In the end, it is love that makes life hard . . . and worth it. As scripture tells us, without love, we are nothing.
Toggle Commented Mar 18, 2017 on Living is Hard at Sassistas
FOLLOWING THE ROAD I have left my wife at the airport, flying out to help our daughter whose baby will not eat. And I am driving on to Kent to hear some poets read tonight. I don’t know what to do with myself when she leaves me like this. An... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2017 at Sassistas
Thank you, Beth. This massacre is the tragic confluence of mental illness, terrorism, gun rights and LGBT rights -- issues that divide our country.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2016 on PULSE at Sassistas
A follow-up text from Kelly's mother: ***** Our group of 4 are forever bonded. I wish peace could be solved by we 4. We could do it. ***** Yes, they could. Deep bow to them.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2016 on PULSE at Sassistas
My beloved friend, Kelly, who lives in Orlando, has an amazing mother. Yesterday she stood in line for 5 hours to donate blood. This is her description of that experience: ***** These are the people I'd been standing with by then for 5 hours. Ben, a mortgage banker from interesting mixed race background who told us all about it, Aneal, a Muslim going to pharmacy school while working at CVS ( his Uncle you will see on TV as spokesman for National Muslim org., Kevin, Sr. VP with healthcare company who'd been on his way to First Baptist when he heard the need for blood. Kevin has 5 guns and believes Gov't is coming for 'our' guns. At first we debated and later became friends talking about what we could agree with. In the end he agreed on background checks and ban on assault weapons. A tiny victory on a horrific day. I'm going to reach out to him later to write letter together to ??? . I did not see one face I already knew there but it wasn't needed. Orlando showed up in a sea of diversity, so heartwarming. Love you all!!❤️ ***** This is how to respond to hate.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2016 on PULSE at Sassistas
An excerpt from columnist Frank Bruni in today's New York Times: ***** But the threat isn’t only to L.G.B.T. Americans, as past acts of terror have shown and as everyone today must recognize. All Americans are under attack, and not exclusively because of whom we drink, dance or sleep with, but because of our bedrock belief that we should not be subservient to any one ideology or any one religion. That offends and inflames the zealots of the world. Often our politicians can’t find their voices. Sometimes their words are poignantly right. President Obama, speaking about the victims on Sunday afternoon, said: “The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub. It is a place of solidarity and empowerment where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds and to advocate for their civil rights. So this is a sobering reminder that attacks on any American, regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation, is an attack on all of us and on the fundamental values of equality and dignity that define us as a country.” And this was Eric Garcetti, the Los Angeles mayor, at a news conference: “Today we know that we are targeted as Americans, because this is a society where we love broadly and openly, because we have Jews and Christians and Muslims and atheists and Buddhists marching together, because we are white, black, brown, Asian, Native American. The whole spectrum and every hue and every culture is here.” It was a perfect description of the country I love. And it was an equally perfect description of what the Orlando gunman couldn’t bear. **** The entire piece:
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2016 on PULSE at Sassistas
I am shaking and can't catch my breath.
Toggle Commented Jun 12, 2016 on PULSE at Sassistas
PULSE: NO WORDS Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2016 at Sassistas
Beth -- my parents have no computer and no internet service. My father will not see this post. My sister, Lauren, was at my parents' apartment when I called my father earlier today. She reiterated how much she appreciated the beauty -- and the honesty -- of this post. I'd like to be with my father when he dies, but as you know, my parents are notoriously private people. I have no idea how much lead time I will have, but I want to be there. That being said, I don't want him to die any time soon.
Toggle Commented Jun 9, 2016 on On Turning 90 at Sassistas
Thank you, dear Carol. Like I wrote earlier, I pondered this 90th milestone tribute for quite a while. I carry my dad in my heart on most days, but especially today.
Toggle Commented Jun 9, 2016 on On Turning 90 at Sassistas
Neola -- yes, please send it. I would love to read your Sanders perspective. And I'm sure others would as well.
Toggle Commented Jun 9, 2016 on Warren-ted Smackdown at Sassistas
Thank you, dear Lauren. I've been pondering how to mark Dad's 90th for a while. I didn't want to publish a post previous to this one during a week when alarming and historical political events were occupying the headlines. I wanted it to stand alone; perhaps another way to honor the man. It was poignant to pull this together; also, to find a poem that honestly captured the relationship I believe I've had and have with Dad. He's kind and stubborn, strong and weak, funny and weary. I don't believe that I will ever know Dad the way I wanted to, but I am grateful for the ways in which he supported me when he could. It's been sad to realize how selfish and faint-hearted he can be in his relationship with Mom. I think about the two of them all the time, more than I admit. You've gone more than the extra mile with them over the past three years. Thank you. I am sorry for the toll it has taken on you and your spouse. It's hard to take in that their heart-rending family story most likely will not have a happy ending.
Toggle Commented Jun 9, 2016 on On Turning 90 at Sassistas
Today, my father celebrates his 90th birthday. Photos covering nine decades capture the man; a poem by Robert Bly captures the spirit of the man. Continue reading
Posted Jun 9, 2016 at Sassistas
Neola -- Bob is still on my list. I can't bear to delete his card. Not to worry. And my birthday was indeed very lovely. By the way, I tend to celebrate ALL MONTH -- and knowing that you spent a lot of time reading and commenting on past posts was a gift . . . a birthday gift. Thank you. xoxo
Toggle Commented Jun 8, 2016 on On Turning 63 at Sassistas
Neola -- I haven't been posting this week because I am deep into revising "Deep Joy." A lot of memories (on top of these two letters) emerged last weekend and I'm kind of racing to get them onto paper before I forget them again! The good news is that these new memories clarify why I did not respond to Joy when she wrote to me. Stay tuned.
Toggle Commented Jun 8, 2016 on Deep Joy Sidetracked at Sassistas
Neola -- I'm not certain I agree with you that my self-hatred regarding my depression is the bigger problem than the depression. Do people hate themselves for having cancer or an immune system disorder? That being said, the disease of depression doesn't do much to lessen my self-hatred.
Toggle Commented Jun 8, 2016 on Soft Summer Nights at Sassistas
Neola -- I stayed up to hear Clinton's acceptance speech on winning the Democratic Presidential nomination. Me -- who is normally sleeping by 9 pm, but this was HISTORY, er HERSTORY. I got weepy. I had just listened to Trump's drivel where he nearly exclusively used the pronoun, "I". Hillary nearly exclusively used the pronoun, "we". "Morning Joe" this morning did a devastating side-by-side comparison of the two addresses from last evening and it was damning for Trump, if it is possible for him to be damned anymore than he has been. Thanks for voting. I'm so curious about what you think Sanders ought to do now.
Toggle Commented Jun 8, 2016 on Warren-ted Smackdown at Sassistas
"Simple joys are great. So is reading interesting and complicated and dark stuff. And the company of good and true people." A wonderful way of looking at life, Neola. Thank you.
Toggle Commented Jun 8, 2016 on Dark Thoughts, Singing Hearts at Sassistas