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I see, from the cashier's behavior, that I'm not the only one going through nicotine withdrawal right now. *Throws Jeff an Ativan* I have it on good authority, his wife, that Jeff's favorite shirt reads, "I'm not old. Your music really does suck". At some point in the past few months a Millennial has evidently p!ssed Jeff off. The under 30 crowd needs to be very careful.
Soon to be a major hit for The Rock Bottom Remainders.
Toggle Commented yesterday on ATTENTION, SONGWRITERS at Dave Barry's Blog
PirateBoy, I loved that show! Now move over so I can sit next to you on the bus.
Toggle Commented 2 days ago on FLORIDA: STATE OF ROMANCE at Dave Barry's Blog
It looks like Granny would have wondered why the "tea bags" were in a separate part of the grocery store. I prefer Earl Grey tea.
Toggle Commented 2 days ago on 'I'M A TERRIBLE SHOPPER' at Dave Barry's Blog
How intoxicated was the person who wrote this article? Extremely intoxicated is a state of mental impairment that many enjoy and pursue on Friday and Saturday nights with friends. Okey dokey then!
If I had been involved it would have gone a little differently. "Woman threatens to run over man with golf cart after he suggests they spend an evening at the Ragged Ass Saloon".
Toggle Commented 3 days ago on DO NOT MESS WITH THEM at Dave Barry's Blog
Why not just have special flights for people with these emotional support animals? Regular, state certified, seeing eye dogs could still go on regular flights however squirrels, horses, peacocks, etc would have to take the special flight.
Toggle Commented 3 days ago on BUT DID IT RECLINE? at Dave Barry's Blog
Thank you MOTW. My SIL brought me some great brownies today and for some reason I felt a lot better after I ate one.
Toggle Commented 4 days ago on OTHER THAN THAT... at Dave Barry's Blog
pogo that's close to where my family is from! I knew I liked tolerated you for some reason! You can't beat a good ole Georgia boy.
Thank you Jeff. The thing that hurts the most is the stupid Tetanus shot I had to take. I would sue unless they got me and my new husband one of the best hotel rooms in New Orleans along with dinner at a five star restaurant. Preferably both of those would be on the first floor.
Toggle Commented 5 days ago on OTHER THAN THAT... at Dave Barry's Blog
I think that's selection number 14 at Auto Bell. It's $2.00 extra if you want it buffed.
I'm going to assume this kid isn't in the gifted class.
They taste like chicken. I accidentally ate a few bites of one at a family reunion in Georgia. Never again. They're also a little salty. See how dedicated I am? I'd do anything for you people. Forget the fact I did this years before joining this blog. It was all for you.
Toggle Commented 6 days ago on KNIGHT THIS PEER at Dave Barry's Blog
Fabian Marson, you sound like my kind of guy.
I do know the power of buttocks. But, for some reason, I've spent years trying to keep mine on the smaller size so I can fit comfortably into a booth at McDonald's.
Toggle Commented 7 days ago on MEANWHILE ABROAD at Dave Barry's Blog
*SMACKS* fractalist twice.
Toggle Commented 7 days ago on THE WORD IS 'HERO' at Dave Barry's Blog
So true Le Petomane. What a lot of people don't realize is surgical masks don't really protect you from anything. We had different protective equipment for highly contagious patients. However they do protect other people from getting your germs. I carry hand sanitizer with me and always wipe off cart handles. I never open a store's door with my bare hand. However, the most important thing is to never touch your face with your hands if you haven't washed them yet. Especially don't touch your eyes or nose. This has been your free medical advice for the day and you didn't even ask for it!
How about the NTANAMs? Not The Army Navy Air Force or Marines. The military loves acronyms
Toggle Commented 7 days ago on ASTROPERSONS? at Dave Barry's Blog
Good one Jeff. Such a sweet story.
Toggle Commented 7 days ago on THE WORD IS 'HERO' at Dave Barry's Blog
Happy Valentine's Day!
I've had worse too. I had a date show up in a car covered in bumper stickers. He wanted to read them all to me before we left for dinner. I got a sudden headache and never saw him again.
Toggle Commented Feb 13, 2020 on SOUNDS LIKE A KEEPER at Dave Barry's Blog
The faces of our future.
Toggle Commented Feb 13, 2020 on 'ADULTS' at Dave Barry's Blog
Keeping it classy in Michigan. I think kids would have a lot more fun if their parents didn't keep getting in the way.
Toggle Commented Feb 11, 2020 on AND IN SPORTS at Dave Barry's Blog
What a great idea! Now if they could just find someone who could deliver some strawberries and chocolate to go with the wine. Or is that only to be used with champagne?
Toggle Commented Feb 11, 2020 on AUSTRALIANS IN ACTION at Dave Barry's Blog