He pitched a fit? Please! It was probably nothing compared to the fit I pitched when they said they were going to discontinue the fried apple pies.

Not only does she not look remorseful she looks like, if given the chance, she'd do it all over again.

His family must be so proud of him.

Good thing I wasn't there because I don't know nothing about birthing no piglets.

Mr. Bill, I can tell you where each and every one of these new organs are under my skin thanks to a nasty case of the shingles that I'm still getting over.

So this is why so many stores are already putting out Christmas decorations!

Stephen King could have a best seller with this. "Lillian watched as her obese, wildly wealthy husband eyed the bowl of candy she'd put next to his chair. With a wicked glint in her eye she moved towards him while holding a tray of fresh, Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Maybe tonight would be the night!".

First I've heard of this. Maybe our ABC commission was just being nice because their beer tastes.... less than satisfactory. Also, most North Carolina men are against having multiple wives because they get into enough trouble with just one.

Actually the farmers usually had flashlights stuck in them. They always told me they'd accidentally sat on them when they got in their pickup trucks. We had one guy that had accidentally sat on one and it was actually on and bright enough we could see a slight glow in his abdomen We had to send him to the OR to get it out. I told him that maybe he should start putting his flashlights in the glove compartment.

Ohio has a state university? Wow! I learn something new here everyday.

Thank you padraig. Until I read your comment I had no idea what the fuss was all about.

It was the duck lips pose that did it. I'm with the goat on this one.

......advised officers to "leave his drunk *expletive* *expletive* alone." I wish they'd just say what the expletives were because what I think is probably a whole lot worse than what he actually said.

I don't know what's worse. Being hit by an airplane part while on the ground or being in the airplane and seeing parts of it falling to the ground.

Dolls sold separately for $100 each. I guess I'm going to have to have a chat with Santa for these.

Rudolph, it could have been worse She could have taken him to the yarn store.

My daughter and ex-husband are lefties. If I hear, "Only lefties are in their right minds" one more time.....

Is there anything cuter than a BMW full of kitten?

What ever happened to just taking a picture of your special friend? LeDud, I'll be impressed if I ever fly again.

Actually one joint will be out of your system in 13 days. Poppy seeds can show up but it depends on how many you eat. I used to do drug screens at local manufacturing plants and I was always amazed at home many people ate poppy seed muffins for breakfast. They also never drank more than two beers and were at a party the night before the test where they sat next to someone smoking a joint.

Bill, I'm assuming he's either single or will be very soon.

My thoughts exactly Rod. I still have a rotary dial phone on a table in my living room but it doesn't work anymore.

Scherb told McClatchy newsgroup the flight attendant bumped seats and travelers, dropped things and slurred the safety announcement . I didn't know that people actually listened to the safety announcements.

This is exactly why I always lock up my Glocks before the sex party starts. Who am I kidding? The last party I went to was a Tupperware party and the most risque thing we did was to burp the Tupperware.

My cat not only knows her name, Maggie, but will also come when I call her. I recently lost my male cat, Ozzie, to kidney disease and whenever I'd call his name he'd make a noise like he was answering me. They also understand the phrases, do you want to eat and are you hungry. If my Maggie doesn't think I'm feeding her fast enough she'll hit me on the mouth with her paw. You know, it just occurred to me that I may need to start getting out more.