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Ben Wise

Los Angeles

I'm here to correct the world and....oh never mind.

Recent Activity

Why I Don't Need Jesus

I was born on a clean crisp day, caressed by a warm sun in the hills of Jerusalem. If you're not aware the air of Jerusalem is dusted with magic. It makes men go crazy and attempt to kill each other. For thousands of years. I'd like to think that... Continue reading

Posted May 21, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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The King of Ludlow Beach

And so it came to be that the king was dead. Flowers were laid out just outside of the service entrance of Katz’s deli, which almost touched in concrete the entrance of the studios. The filthy, thin steps were swept away to reveal their hidden gray, as masses of people... Continue reading

Posted May 10, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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Excuse Me. Oh, I'm Sorry, I Thought You Were Somebody Else - Part I

This morning marked a very important day in my life in Los Angeles, but I'll get to that. In describing this city I've always found "it ain't no New Yorker". I'll explain... New York has a magazine - it's called The New Yorker. It is sophisticated, reports on culture, has... Continue reading

Posted May 3, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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I had a dream last night. You said yes. I had a dream last night that you were in love. Not with me, but with us. I had a dream that you didn't blow up bombs but disarmed them instead. You were peaceful. You told me all the things we... Continue reading

Posted Apr 21, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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The Great Gatsby or How I learned to Get Past Misery

Posters for The Great Gatsby are plastered all over town. For those of you who aren't familiar this is not some great novel from the past that demands of you to sit down and commit and read pages and pages of literature on your favorite tablet. No, this is a... Continue reading

Posted Apr 11, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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Ode to New York City

The first time I saw her her eyes seduced me. They held promise, they held secrets and teased me that if I was worthy, if I put in the time, the effort she would reveal them, perhaps herself to me. The exchange was wordless, from afar, there was a background... Continue reading

Posted Apr 9, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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When you travel, you move in time. And space. All right you move through space and time. But anyway, I'm losing my train of thought. With distance comes perspective, that's what I'm trying to say. Sheesh! So you go to a place, different from yours in shape and size. The... Continue reading

Posted Apr 5, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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For The Love Of

There is tennis. There is love. There is love for tennis. There is love in tennis. It actually means nothing. Love equals Zero. This is ironic because love is usually, everything. This isn't the only thing in tennis that I admire. I suppose my favorite thing about the sport is... Continue reading

Posted Mar 16, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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Since the dawn of time there are questions that have haunted mankind. Why are we here? What's the meaning of life? Blah, blah, blah. The real question of course is: Where is Waldo? You've looked. Oh how you've looked! Flipping pages, scanning crowds. The pressure of finding him first. You... Continue reading

Posted Mar 3, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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The Tissue Situation

I was cleaning out my bag. Looking innocently for bills I had to pay when I stumbled upon a pack of tissues. Random, opened and slightly used. That's it! I'm turning into my grandmother. Shoot Me in the Face. My grandmother's bag is filled with tissues. She has them everywhere.... Continue reading

Posted Feb 27, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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The Best Holiday Ever. E-V-E-R

There are a lot of things going on. Pope resigning. Valentine's day. Coincidence? I don't think so. Ah, Valentine's day! V-Day! It's giant teddy bear commercials (who the fuck wants a four foot teddy bear?) fuzzy chocolates and dark hearts (or is it the other way around?). And to me... Continue reading

Posted Feb 13, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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I keep on wondering what Siri looks like. Maybe that's not true. I keep wondering what Siri looks like naked. So I decided to investigate (I'm very resourceful)(actually, I'm not, I just have wifi, we live in a world where investigation no longer exists. It's silly, just like that new... Continue reading

Posted Feb 5, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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I must stop making declarations!* (*Disclaimer I: "I must stop making declarations!" is a declaration.**) (**Disclaimer II: Crap.***) (***Disclaimer III: There's another one!) I was blogging about. Just beginning the process, feeling it out, examining the words, pretending to hold a pipe in my mouth and have a calf skin... Continue reading

Posted Jan 29, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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"Oh my God!" The woman exclaimed. She held onto her chest emphatically, her mouth remained open as she listened to the shocking news delivered across the table by her friend. In short, she was floored. Her nose was perfect, her skin tight and shiny, her smile a million dollars and... Continue reading

Posted Jan 15, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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I Won't Do That

I keep on wondering what Meatloaf won't do for love. In case you don't remember, let me refresh...This large man, with a striking resemblance to the original Beast (Beauty and the Beast - the French version, 1946) belts out that he will do anything for love. Anything. But! "...I won't... Continue reading

Posted Jan 8, 2013 at Just Shot in the Face

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Things left unresolved

Jay-Z said "...what more can I say." It wasn't a question. And if it was it was rhetorical. The answer, therefore, is nothing. It's all been said, miles and miles of pages filled and exhausted on Facebook, articles both online and newspapers, TV news specials, talk shows and fancy press... Continue reading

Posted Dec 27, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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'Tis the season - of some sort

William, my dog, fondly referred to as 'the little fucker', shares none of my just shoot me in the face desires. If anything he has an unexplainable zest for life. He tugs and pulls, thinking that every corner, every bush (not that kind) holds in it the potential for something... Continue reading

Posted Dec 18, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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December descends upon Los Angeles like a frozen tundra. The temperature dips down well into the 60's, which prompts men to don their beanies and fashionable scarves, silky enough to make you wonder, and women to slip into the Ugh boots - it's not misspelled it's a pun. All of... Continue reading

Posted Dec 11, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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Grandma or... The Great Decline

My grandmother was the original creator of shoot me in the face. It was in the form of a look. It was mostly aimed at me and mostly post bar mitzvah. Because until then I was untouchable. I was filled to the brim with potential, overflowing with prospects. Great Expectations... Continue reading

Posted Dec 4, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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I'm great, just great!

"How are you?" They ask. Pause. I have a complete conversation in my head about how I am. But I smile. There's nothing to say. So.... "I'm fine." Then I remember to try to be nice. After all I'm living in a society. With people. Who you can't shoot in... Continue reading

Posted Nov 27, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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Rockets are falling, bombs are dropped. Shoot me in the face. I'm from there. From Israel, as everyone knows. This is an absolute blatant lie of course. Nobody knows this. So now you know and as G.I. Joe used to say...knowing is half the battle. I'm not going to talk... Continue reading

Posted Nov 20, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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I'm turning forty. Shoot me in the face. It's soon. There is little drama behind this, it is just something that's been done about a billion and a half times in the history of mankind, I recognize this and yet there is something special about it. I've been thinking about... Continue reading

Posted Nov 13, 2012 at Just Shot in the Face

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Nov 7, 2012

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Oct 22, 2012

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