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So I Wrote
Usually written from my bed
Socially awkward, married 20-something trying to figure out what the fuck I am doing.
Interests: Reading, introverting
Recent Activity
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... Continue reading
Posted Dec 31, 2012 at So I Wrote
The truth is that I'm BORED. Bored of myself, bored of life, bored of the day to day certainties I have built. Built around the things I've given up as dead, as impossible, as compromised away. It is so boring and dull and tedious to have the little brain ticks... Continue reading
Posted Dec 27, 2012 at So I Wrote
Remind me never to drink again. Oh God. Someone, get me some chamomile. Continue reading
Posted Dec 26, 2012 at So I Wrote
God, doesn't it just fucking suck to be an adult sometimes? I hate having to make terribly difficult decisions and then! THEN! having to voice them and (!!!) act on them. Since starting therapy I have become increasingly aware every day how much my "therapy behaviour" hurts my husband. I... Continue reading
Posted Dec 22, 2012 at So I Wrote
Tick tick tick.... boom. Continue reading
Posted Dec 18, 2012 at So I Wrote
Because HEEEHEEHEEHEE FUCK THE SYSTEM, THAT'S WHY! I had a medical math type of exam today. To pass you have to score 100%. I've been avoiding this exam for a year. Too scared to even try it. 100%? In a math test? HARHARHAR well I might as well just quit... Continue reading
Posted Dec 6, 2012 at So I Wrote
Hell o. I had that meeting with my therapist and I don't know quite what happened. I didn't get that awesome, yay! feeling this time. I felt misunderstood and like she wasn't understanding what I was saying. At one point after I told her the story of The Big Traumatic... Continue reading
Posted Dec 4, 2012 at So I Wrote
I am aiming to churn these bastards out a few more times in time for Christmas. I believe this one is for my sister. The top cream thingy is actually two pieces stuck together. The bottom part is actually a little candestick. I am so pleased how the two pieces... Continue reading
Posted Dec 3, 2012 at So I Wrote
I went to my first session with my brand spankin' new therapist yesterday. I am so pleased. I saw her in the hallway before I knew she was my therapist and I thought "hey, I would really like her as my therapist." Why? Because she is so tall. And she... Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2012 at So I Wrote
Right. Obviously very bad at keeping promises to myself about actually writing. Strange thing is, I harbor this secret idea of myself as a writer, as a creative person who does crafts and inspires people with beautiful things. But, err. I never really get around to being that person. I... Continue reading
Posted Nov 26, 2012 at So I Wrote
Lately, I've been struggling with a sudden and acute drop in self-esteem. My husband can be rather harsh when angry and uses colourful words to describe the negative sides of me, and it tends to stick with me if it is repeated in more than one instance. Factor in that... Continue reading
Posted Oct 10, 2012 at So I Wrote
Over the past few days I've written several very eloquent blog posts in my head... which have inconveniently slipped out of conciousness before I had a chance to actually write them down. Nothing much is happening here... besides almost constant nausea. If I didn't know for sure I wasn't pregnant,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 22, 2012 at So I Wrote
I am a terrible blogger etc etc yawn etc. There's not much to say in a blog that I guess I've sort of geared toward my mental issues when there's nothing really going on in my life on that front. Good lord that was a long sentence. Yesterday, I threw... Continue reading
Posted Aug 17, 2012 at So I Wrote
I wish I had something new to write about. But I don't. I am still the same fucking person who can't fuck. I've been to two meetings with a psychologist to evaluate if their firm could help me, and in that case who and how. Apparently they've decided to help... Continue reading
Posted May 11, 2012 at So I Wrote
I am so annoyed with myself right now. I worked so hard to get rid of my emetophobia and now I am just slapping it in the face by sitting here feeling anxious about the fact that I went outside yesterday. Emetophobia is fucking sneaky. I've been telling myself that... Continue reading
Posted Jan 24, 2012 at So I Wrote
It seems I have fallen down a hole. Hurrah for downward spirals. I have a mantra going in my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep about all the things I do not do well, or could do better. Basically, I suck at everything.... Continue reading
Posted Jan 21, 2012 at So I Wrote
My back is... eh... I'll give you the TL;DR version: My back has an awesome knack for getting crooked and very inflamed in one spot. It halts everything because it's so painful. I end up sitting or laying down a lot. A lot meaning all the time. Movement is painful.... Continue reading
Posted Jan 15, 2012 at So I Wrote
The pressure I build on myself is really ridiculous. "Oh you can't write anything for your blog today because you feel all shitty and it's not going to be funny, and when did you even try to write anything funny last? You're lame." Nobody reads this blog so, in theory,... Continue reading
Posted Nov 20, 2011 at So I Wrote
The course literature that I thought I had paid for I have not paid for yet and I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY OMG THIS IS A DISASTER. Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg How in the fuck will I pay all my bills? How? How? How? How? Answer: I can't, because I don't have the... Continue reading
Posted Nov 17, 2011 at So I Wrote
It was father's day here last Sunday. I had blissfully forgotten it until I went to yoga in the evening, and the instructor told us to "reflect on our fathers" during the class. Yeah, thanks a lot. On the way home I started getting flashes of good memories: Watching Lord... Continue reading
Posted Nov 15, 2011 at So I Wrote
I am likely to consider it a side effect of my CBT therapy. I had to be hard on myself and demand things from myself that were very difficult and even downright sadistic at times. It worked for me - I have started doing it in all areas of my... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2011 at So I Wrote
Things that are grinding my gears today: - Everybody - every single body! - happily announcing "It's 11/11/11 omggg!" on facebook, on twitter, to my face. Good job guys, you've learned the use of calenders. Can someone please remind me again what date it is? - I like garlic. My... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2011 at So I Wrote
Well, two topics at least. But I will be sensible and not write about the one that is currently in an upset, because it will bring out the Hysterical Woman that dwells inside me and I will name the problem unfixable and I might as well just end it all... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2011 at So I Wrote
Tonight I am stricken with fear. My stomach is eh... uh... well, not at its best and I've found myself in the errrr bathroom once or twice. I don't feel sick and my stomach doesn't hurt. Just cold from sitting in the unheated bathroom. But I am feeling something else.... Continue reading
Posted Nov 9, 2011 at So I Wrote
Internet, I got a wave of wanting To Go Public With My Awesome Blog Which I Post In So Often. I went through my posts and started Drafting those that I couldn't bear for my mother to see. However, I started noticing they were my favourite posts. My most naked... Continue reading
Posted Nov 6, 2011 at So I Wrote