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Those cats couldn't care less about a stupid hunk of snow, but bless 'em for humoring you guys anyway.
Hope Santa is good to everyone this year!
Merry Christmas!
I'm getting an early start on the holiday brain-veg by posting this now. I'm so fortunate to have a cat that's so weird. Seriously, everyday, Winston is my Christmas wish come true.
I couldn't believe I was actually making a point of watching this last night (appointment TV!), but when Snooks busted out with the backflips, I raised my glass to MTV. And to you, sir.
The lessons of Jersey Shore: Episode 3
I cheered when I saw this: Literally: clapped and shouted, "YES!" What a thrill this whole thing has been so far. What a fucking thrill. Here's another from that same scene: God, Snooki is just so good to us. I guess you don't get to be Queen of the World by sitting home and keeping you...
Wasn't "Down with Snookie" an old Robin Williams / Jon Stewart movie that flopped at the box office?
A real life Jersey Shore protest
This is happening in front of the Viacom building NOW: About four people were downstairs proclaiming Snooki the "dark lord" when I took these. I didn't feel like arguing over JS' cultural greatness, but I gather that this group's point is that they are nowhere near as trashy as the Jersey cra...
@gif #4 - photographic proof that La Toya Jackson invented the fingerbang. Clever girl.
Jackson family d'oh-nasty
For the amount of Jacksons that there are, The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty should have at least been a shit show, but its two-hour A&E premiere was really just a bunch of crap. If failing publicly has become the standard for reality TV, this was a failure to fail. It wasn't a trainwreck becaus...
Thanks for the insightful transcription work, Rich. Based on your uncanny knack for interpreting alien cultural cues, I'd say there's a post at the UN with your name on it.
It's great you're wading into this for our sakes, but beware the hazards of anthropological osmosis - i.e. "going native" - there could be a tanning bed purchase in your near future if you're not careful!
The lessons of Jersey Shore
Rule No. 1: Perspire profusely. Rule No. 2: Display said perspiration in the most aggro method possible: Don't rinse, repeat. Look, everyone knows that the new MTV reality series Jersey Shore premiered last night. You know it, your mom knows it, the guy who collects the merry-go-round rings ...
Hilarious as always, Rich. I might've watched this mess had it featured wall-to-wall Whitney, but apparently, all we got was a little taste of heaven.
Oh, and RIP Nicole's face. :(
The American music whores
I've always known that the American Music Awards is the most masturbatory major awards show our fine country has to offer, but now I have the gif to prove it: (The best thing about that gif is that as Whitney is masturbating that statue, she is thanking God.) The AMAs are everything crass a...
All the best on your B-Day Rich. I knew there must've been a reason you showed up in a dream of mine last night. You were eating peanuts from the shell at a bar and I tried to talk to you, but I kept having sudden fits of narcolepsy so the bouncers threw me out...
Sundai'll come out tomorrow
Sundai promised she'd tell her tale of orphanhood if she made it to the Top 4. Given this show's reliance on catharsis and oversharing, you would think that alone would have cruised her through. But no: orphan, interrupted. I can't tell if that means the show is maturing or that like everyone ...
Why no love for TLI, Rich? Also, while I get that you and Gabe are busy guys, I figure the next "Rich & Gabe Watch (...)" video is long overdue. Since he has an aversion to scary movies, why not tie him down, prop open his eyelids with toothpicks, and have a good old-fashioned horror marathon?
And Vanessa, I know what you mean, and it's been - god - 25 years since I saw Breakfast Club. Wait, that can't be right...twenty-five YEARS? *dies of old age*.
Two videos that I didn't make but love as if they were my own
My friend Gabe made a supercut of people in movies saying the title of the movie and it is as least twice as genius as my description makes it sound: Gabe's been talking about this for a while (supercuts, like Mariah Carey's vision of love, take time), so it's pretty momentous that this is fina...
A lot of blame for this confusion can be laid at the feet of industry publicists, agents, managers and promoters for blurring the lines between new genres (which urban radio stations themselves set up and capitalized on in the first place).
The rappification (for lack of a better term) of seemingly unrelated urban musical styles has been going on for decades. Forget the NY Post - blame the Harvard MBA grads in the recording industry who successfully marketed the rap culture to a generation of white kids who didn't (and weren't supposed to) know any better.
Also, I'm willing to bet that a lot of artists are themselves unhappy with the "R&B" label they get saddled with. It seems like there's a forced soft/hard adult/youth dichotomy at work here that's so pernicious. It's like black music is being decocted down to two flavors - R&B or Rap. Sadly, a lot of people now think that's all urban artists have to offer.
And just as the industry fused "rhythm" and "blues" into a meaningless umbrella term, don't be surprised if you start hearing people refer to black musicians in the future as "RBR" arists. (That would be Rhythm, Blues & Rap, and damn the distinctions and subtleties, because after all, the important denominator is their skin color, right?)
If he's black, he must rap
R. Kelly. Bobby Brown. Ray J. Estelle. Sisqo. Russell Simmons. Shaggy. Damon Dash. M.I.A. Santigold. Kelis. T-Pain. Akon. All of these people have two things in common: 1) At one point, they were referred to by the New York Post as "rappers," and 2) None of them are. You see how some of these ...
If you can't control your dog's behavior without launching terrifying noise-grenades at it, then you might be better off with a goldfish. Yes...an infinitely patient, deaf goldfish would be just right for you.
The Dog Stopper
More VHS-ripping fun. This is scary enough to be appropriate for Halloween week, I think. Also, it's almost magic.
Just saw the movie and was quite impressed. I guess everything depends on what sort of expectations you bring in to the experience.
Sometimes it's good to be out of the loop, (as I was).
Believe the hype
I'll just get right to it: I fucking loved Paranormal Activity. I expected to hate it and avoided it for weeks, but I finally relented. If you are on the fence as I was, I implore you to get over yourself and see it. I thought it was effective, a fantastic use of resources, and a brilliant mar...
Mychael Knight's face is frozen in mid-lisp on my screen as we speak. I was watching the Project Runway All-Star Challenge last night and paused it before I went to bed. That's a little freaky.
And I'm totally on board with you jabbing a hole through your finger, as per Whitney's helpful/horrifying advice. Just make sure you film it and post the gory results here on Halloween. (Erin the Evil Imp suggests you use a rusty awl.)
Eraesed
Hey look, Halloween came early! (Tyra seriously makes the best faces at these girls before she lets them go. If only they'd learn by example, we'd have not just a tank full of hamsters, but a coven of them.) Really, though, Tyra seemed particularly witchy this episode. If I had a lawn, I'd...
And also, Rich? You're gonna give somebody a heart attack posting a tombstone picture under a post titled "All Blogs Go to Heaven".
Because if fourfour went to heaven, it would be hell.
All blogs go to heaven
On Wednesday, MP3 blog Music Is the Heart of Our Soul died. It wasn't the execution I'd expected (as a pop music blog, Music trafficked in the type of major-label stuff that can wipe out a blog with a single post). It was an apparent suicide. Maura @ Idolator grabbed some long-winded rambling ...
That girl just need a hug (AKA love) and now is too late,lol I still like her though.
All blogs go to heaven
On Wednesday, MP3 blog Music Is the Heart of Our Soul died. It wasn't the execution I'd expected (as a pop music blog, Music trafficked in the type of major-label stuff that can wipe out a blog with a single post). It was an apparent suicide. Maura @ Idolator grabbed some long-winded rambling ...
I couldn't get the thing to play either, not even on the Twi-Cats page. And yesterday, I couldn't even get this comment text box to appear...
Although all that really needs to be said is: "Winston, don't let all this fame go to your (edible) head!"
Winston in...
This is just a heads-up to say that Winston's in a book that's out today. It's i am neurotic: (and so are you), the portable version of the blog i am neurotic. The author, Lianna Kong, who came over with her photographer and model a while ago, sent me the page he's on and said I could post it. S...
What a lovely, reflective, honest and delightful post, Rich. You don't usually share a lot of personal stuff, except for tantalizing crumbs left here and there, and it was a rare pleasure to read (and identify with) such private recollections.
Madonna definitely qualifies as a fearless fag-magnet. Many wouldn't put her on par with the likes of Billie Holiday, Edith Piaf, Ethel Merman and Judy Garland simply because tragedy bounces off her, and failure refuses to even register on her radar. She's that rare performer who's more fearsome than her own inner demons. She commands attention and will not go quietly. And in a way, that's a victory for all modern artists, women, and gays alike.
Madonna and me
THIS IS SO LONG! (...that's what he said.) I'm a little over 30 minutes into my Madonna video-watching marathon (thanks to the new, just-shy-of-complete-so-as-to-be-totally-infuriating 2-DVD set, Celebration). I started with Disc 2, as I'm less familiar with her later work, and was eager to...
Erin looks like a cat flinging a white mouse with her teeth in that GIF! Come to think of it, we haven't had a good critter-themed photoshoot in a while. Unless you count horses as vermin, which only giant people can really do, and let's face it - these girls are pretty much the opposite of giants.
I hope after this someone puts Laura in a slasher movie. She'd be a perfect Final Girl. Instead of being a shell-shocked, hollowed-out husk of a human being at the end, she'd emerge from the carnage with a spring in her step and a carefree smile on her sweet face.
Great recap, Rich. You should get some kind of Olde Timey Award for that Elixer GIF.
Gone with the brows
You see, Tyra had to let Bianca go. It was the only way she could keep from eating her. 33. Erin I generally love it when these girls cry, but I gotta say that this instance disappointed me big time. I wanted Erin to continue her pitbull-in-a-smize shtick without apology. Oh well, I'll ...
Seeing the BF in the shower is another excellent reason to wash your cat. (Also, RIP Winston)
Another day, another cat bath
A lot of people think there's no reason to give a cat a bath, but I have two: 1. It makes them (and by them, I mean Winston) look soooooo cute. 2. It annoys the shit out of shrill Internet alarmists, particularly those whose alarms go off when cats are bathed. (It's a special type, let me tel...
I don't know, Christina, maybe modeling is the PERFECT thing for a nine-year-old to be doing. It's just dress-up and making faces, after all. Kids do that anyway.
When Diva gets all that out of her system, grows up, graduates from college with a PHD in Bioengineering and gets her first grant from an international medical research conglomerate, well...at least she won't be tempted to ditch it all in a misguided, naive attempt at being a famous swimsuit model. Because she knows better. And because her name will still be "Diva Davanna".
Great recap, Rich. That fading Oompa Loompa GIF was da shizzle! (-ish!)
Lu of averages
This right here? Wish fulfillment. For the first time in my life, Jay Manuel, I salute you. 28. Brittany What is there left to say at this point about a girl on America's Next Top Model who's crying tears of relief after being set free from the psychic prison that is the Bottom 2? Wel...
Now that your mention it, Rich, I've never found your GIFs slowing down my page loads at all. Obviously, you've perfected the fine art of GIFing to such a degree they're like gossamer, or those fine boutique-bakery puff pastries.
And when I finally DO visit Times Square, there's no chance of me getting out of your way. No chance in hell, buddy. Great recap.
Taking the boot off
This show makes no sense! How the hell are they going to throw out the only girl with a signature walk this early? Here's what I mean: I keep hearing The Munsters' theme song in out-of-synch rounds when I look at that gif wall (and I put it after the jump so that the loading didn'...
Great analysis - too bad the mindless Shapes that make the opening-weekend box-office bean-counters drool won't be reading it.
Is there an irony in the fact that Carpenter and Hill were basically leveraged/contractually arm-twisted into making Halloween 2, whereas Zombie was under no such legal obligation? Y'know, I like Rob Zombie...he's very well-spoken and articulate, but am I to gather then, that he felt an artistic obligation to remake what was primarily a creatively bankrupt retread?
Because that's just ridiculous.
Bad taste is the petrol that drives the American Dream
Not that it matters (since at this point you've already seen it or wouldn't ever), but I'm spoiling the shit out of Rob Zombie's Halloween II below. Rob Zombie makes horror movies like the seasoned fan watches them. You can almost hear him repeating from the director's chair, "It's only a mo...
I think I like her new voice, too. With this track, she almost reminds me of Anita Ward. Very bouncy, groovy and fun.
Put one hand in the air
Today's Whitney Houston will sit you down and tell you all about her regrets and the winter storms she's suffered and how she's not built to break and why you should take her back like she never left, but nothing we've heard so far in advance of I Look to You has sold the theme of triumphant r...
It's always a shame when something so trashy-looking turns out to be just plain garbage.
Disappointed
Here's me: The reason is I just listened to the new Bad Lieutenant commentary on the movie's special edition rerelease and director Abel Ferrara sounds shockingly lucid. I don't mean to wish substance abuse on anyone, but anyone who knows Ferrara commentaries knows how amazing they can be whe...
Oh man, this makes me feel old - the Universal tour I saw in CA featured Cylons (from the original series) shooting their laser cannons into the crowd. The term "butthead" hadn't yet entered the public lexicon.
'Scuze me while I go break a hip.
Experience the tragic
I recently bought this used souvenir VHS from 1991 called Universal Studios Florida: Experience the Magic, figuring there'd be something worth clipping and posting. Little did I know that it would be full of nonsense in the form of desperate overacting, weird celebrity cameos (John Forsythe host...
I think "celebrity glaucoma" is an outstanding turn of a phrase, Rich.
Unfortunately, its metaphoric nature will be lost on the producers of VH1's inevitable new series Celebrity Glaucoma!.
(OTOH, watching Jeff Conaway stumble around bumping into things never gets old.)
Paris, not brilliance
The biggest revelation contained in last night's airing of Paris, Not France on MTV? Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell never wears the same outfit twice in public. Otherwise, it was 62-minutes of hand-held vanity with an alternating aspect ratio, as if to signal that what we were watching wa...
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