Hello Lorraine, you don't know me, but you are a colleague of my daughter Christine MacKenzie. I've been reading your blog and am impressed at your ability to record your experiences and reactions in such detail. I'm sure it helps to put things down in print, but it also helps, as you're discovering, to share your thoughts with anyone who will listen! I am a cancer survivor, age 59, having had both breast cancer in 2004 and liver cancer this year. We are conditioned into thinking that if we live "healthy" lives, eat the right foods etc. we can avoid being ill, so we feel all the more cheated and angry that it happens to us. It is very tough to go through this illness, but remember that treatments are improving all the time and science is close to finding ways to crack the disease. Also, strangely, I found that having cancer gave me a fresh perspective on life and helped me appreciate the support of family and friends. Make sure you do all the things you enjoy and have lots of treats - be kind to yourself. I hope your treatments bring some relief. Very best wishes, Susan MacKenzie