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I don't often have "fights with my wife" dreams, but I recently had something worse. In my dream, I was the same age I am now but wasn't married and had no kids. I was talking to my friend about how depressed I was that I had nobody. As I woke up, the feeling subsided as I realized that my wife was sleeping a few inches away and my boys were in the other room. It was like my subconscious was reminding me how lucky I am.
Long time...
Hey! Here I am. Alive! I bet you were wondering if the last post would be the LAST post. So was I for a while there. But the truth is that I have a lot to say and this is a great place for it - a great place to think THOUGHTS without people I have to DEAL WITH judging me so here I am, back....
Knowing me, I'd zap my tummy flab back into chocolate bars... and then eat the chocolate bars again.
Wait a second... Infinite Chocolate!
Make this app now!!! ;-)
Shtuff I Come Up With When I'm Jacked Up On Carbs
Last month I had this great idea for a new invention - it's a bar code scanner that you can use in your home. You walk around your house scanning items that you purchased previously and the scanner magically turns those items back into the money you paid for them. So, that GORGEOUS outfit you H...
I completely agree. I try not to think about it because when I do I begin to freak out. My wife left her job when our second child was born (it actually made financial sense at the time versus paying for daycare) and now the job market stinks so she likely couldn't get a decent full time job if she wanted to. (Especially not in her field.)
This means that the entire financial fortune of our family rests on my shoulders. My performance in my job could mean the difference between keeping our house or losing it.
I also try not to think about retirement as I'm not putting anything away. I know I should, but there's so little left after bills that we can't afford to take even more out of my paycheck.
Add in the stresses of trying to get the best education for your child when you feel like the entire school system is working against you and a house that seems like it constantly needs work done to it just to keep it from falling down and being an adult can really stink.
There are definitely times when I wish I could go back to the days when my biggest worry was whether my parents got my the toy that I've always wanted ever since I saw it on commercial ten minutes ago or whether I got home in time to watch my favorite show.
The Crazy in My Head: It's Crowded in Here
This morning I called my friend Paul. He turned 40 yesterday so I did what any college friend would do - I called his cell phone and when he didn't answer I filled his voicemail with songs from our youth. Then I Facebooked the following status to our other best friend from college, "Hey Bo, it'...
For some reason, JSL (5 years old), is obsessed with kissing us on the mouth. He gets upset and doesn't understand why mommy and daddy can mouth-kiss each other but he can't. Then, he began trying to touch tongues. I wonder if I should be worried about what's going on in his class.
French Kiss
Oh the joys of the school bus. Last week my kids complained that they were the "only kids" on the bus who didn't have electronics - iTouches, Kindles, etc. I told them that last year when they had gotten their Kindles, I emailed their teacher to see if they could bring it in and she said that s...
A few years back, someone rang our doorbell at 2am. At first, we thought it was malfunctioning (it was a wireless doorbell that would sometimes ring on its own), but it turned out to be some kid in a hoodie on our front step. My wife scooped up our kid (whose room is right by our front door) and called 911. I armed myself with the best tool I had onhand: a hammer. I also made sure all entry points were locked (they were).
The guy eventually walked around our house, came back to the front, and spotted me peaking through the blinds. He started pounding on the window demanding to be let in. At that moment, I (someone who is extremely non-violent) realized that I should use the claw side of the hammer on the intruder's skull for maximum effect should he break through the window.
Thankfully, the police arrived then. It turns out it was just a drunk kid who was completely lost and thought he was at a friend's house. (He sobered up pretty quickly when faced with multiple large police dogs.)
As far as guns go, I wouldn't have one in my house but only because I have horrible aim and tend to be very clumsy. I couldn't trust myself to use one properly and I think anyone who has a gun should treat it not as a toy, but as a powerful weapon (which it is). Thankfully, many gun owners (such as yourself) do that, but sadly many do not. (People who wave loaded guns around while "playing" not only give good gun owners a bad name, but also put many people at risk.)
"I'd Totally Shoot. I'm a Mom."
A few weeks ago a friend of mine on Twitter said that you shouldn't arm your self with a gun unless you were prepared to use it. I replied, "I'd totally shoot. I'm a Mom." referring to the lengths I would go to to protect my children. But the truth is I'd never been in a situation where it wa...
I'm dreading "the talk" because 1) I never quite had it myself (my mom avoided the topic at all costs & my dad's version of it was "let's watch Playboy channel together") & 2) I just know that my oldest will tell the youngest (who may not be ready for the whole truth) but will mistell it leading to premature talkage with my youngest. Cherishing the Talk-free time while it lasts.
The Birds and the Bees... And by Birds I Mean Woodpeckers...
My husband is one of those annoying people who has to "unwind" before bed. I, on the other hand, pretty much run around like the Energizer bunny all day until it's time for bed - at which time I race to the edge of the bed, jump in and crash in about 18 seconds. He loves that. Especially whe...
My wife has hip issues from time to time too. (I think those might be pregnancy related also.) She often uses a body pillow. As a bonus, if your husband makes any "weight in almonds" cracks again, a body pillow has a lot more mass to smack against him. ;-)
Sometimes I Get Physical In Bed
Since my first pregnancy I've had hip problems. Since I was pregnant or nursing for 5 straight years it was sort of hard to tell whether it was pregnancy related but my baby is now SIX! and the hip problems remain so I guess that answers that question. Now I sleep with a small pillow between my...
Well, he didn't say it had to be one straight hour of "attention", did he? Maybe he meant 10 instances of 6 minutes of attention over just under 2 weeks.
I'm a FRACTIONAL BILLIONAIRE, Don't Threaten Me!
I'm writing this on Wednesday night about an hour before the biggest Powerball Jackpot EVER is drawn. I have 5 tickets. Mostly because I forgot they had doubled the price to $2. When I came home with the tickets my husband said, "If we win, I'm going to make love to you for an HOUR!" At which p...
Kid crushes are fun. NHL had a crush on a classmate of his 2 years ago. Merely saying her name would make him blush and duck under the nearest table.
Nowadays, his big crush is Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies. (He's seen the first three.) He was so excited when, for his birthday, he got a Lego Harry Potter set that included Hermione.
Like Mother Like Daughter
I met my husband while I was flirting with a guy I'll call Creepy Tommy. Creepy Tommy is creepy for a whole lot of reasons but at the time all I knew is that he was GORGEOUS. Like gorgeous in a way that puts the whole world on pause and all you can hear are angels singing. Seriously. (You can...
I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I yell too. Most of the time, it's because I get ignored when I talk in a normal volume. Of course, then there's a temptation to skip the "normal volume, get ignored, repeat yourself, ignored again, yell" process and start right at "yell." I fight this temptation and wish I could say I was 100% successful. (It also doesn't help that I came from a loud house and so tend to have a loud voice even when I'm talking at a "normal volume.")
Maybe I need to follow your lead and start yelling nice things at them to counteract my yelling when they ignore me.
The Luckiest Mom
I yell at my kids more than I'd like. Sometimes it's because there are 4 of them and the volume is so high at my house it's the only way to get my airwaves past the ones that they are making and sometimes it's because there are times when they seem to ignore me until I start yelling. Sometimes ...
Dinner time has come to mean fight time for my 5 year old. He's so fussy that there are only about 5 or 6 dishes he'll eat. The general rule is: You don't eat what I made? You get a plain peanut butter sandwich.
@
When I bend the rule and custom-make him something, you'd think he'd be appeciative. Invariably, he'll look at what is on his plate, declare that he doesn't like it (without even tasting it, mind you), and demand something else. Then comes the hour long scream-fest as I refuse to play "short order chef" and he refuses to eat what he asked me to make him just 10 minutes ago. (Usually, by this point, my wife & other son have finished eating and I would very much like to eat in peace instead of making yet abother meal.)
Don't Wanna
Lately my kids have kind of been driving me fucking nuts. This is a shitty thing to say because they are good kids and they get along with each other and random people stop me in the grocery store to tell me that when I wasn't looking they were hugging each other. So yeah, they are totally aweso...
Of course, that should have read "I tell my wife how beautiful and sexy she is". My phone has a nasty habit of changing letters on me. (The curse of small keypad and big fingers.)
Sex Homework: You Know You Want It
I've recently been having an email conversation with a friend about how frustrating it can be when only one partner initiates sex. You people know me and you know I am NOT shy when it comes to the maritals but I have to admit that the Mr. hardly gives me 24 hours to make a pass at him before he'...
Must Passover clean. Procrastination becomes Panic.
Writing Assignment: 6 Word Stories
I'm sitting in a GORGEOUS hotel room on Park Avenue in New York City wearing business clothes because I just realized that I forgot to bring pajamas. Oops. Work is going well and I ate tuna ceviche, lobster tacos and mussels for dinner. Life is good. I miss my kids but they are well cared for ...
Where I live, I have no IRL friends. I go from work (where I rarely have a chance to really talk with anyone about non-work topics) to home (where I become "dad" and "husband" and rarely have time to have non-dad/husband chats). The Internet is where I get to talk about things that interest me. I'd love to find some friends to just hang out with and talk to (especially on those days when I'm upset about something and need someone to talk in person to), but I have no clue where to meet such people. The whole concept of meeting new friends just reminds me of dating which dredges up a lot of bad memories.
I'll be honest. Those "I like X does X like me back" moments terrified me when I was dating. More often than not, the answer to "Does she like me back" was "Yes, but only as a friend." And those were the times when my brain didn't lock up in fear preventing me from finding out the answer. Interestingly enough, when I met my wife (online) there was none of that fear. Everything just felt natural and right with her.
That Awkward Moment When You Say, "I Like You" For the First Time
You know how when you start dating someone, you're sort of reserving judgement based on previous heartaches and heartbreaks until you've spent a bit of time together and then somewhere around the third date you 're seized with panic at the realization that you ACTUALLY like them and are suddenly...
Amazing view.
I want to take my boys to NYC on day. We were driving past it this past weekend (my parents live on Long Island) and my son kept pointing to any building that was 10 stories tall and calling them "skyscrapers." Seeing a real skyscraper might blow his mind. (I grew up visiting my father's office on the 20th floor. Looking out of the window was quite fun if you didn't have a fear of heights.)
All It Needed Was a Giant Gorilla
This is the view of the Empire State Building from my hotel room in NYC. Gorgeous, isn't it?
Sometimes it's helpful to cut back for a bit. Keeps you from getting completely burned out. I used to try to post 7 days a week and quickly found myself getting burned out. I cut back to only doing 3 days a week for awhile and have worked my way back up to 5 days. (Though, I use Wordless Wednesday and Aloha Friday as "easy post days.")
Good luck on the work stuff.
Hiatus-ish
March 5th was the two year anniversary of this blog and I totally missed it. OOPS. If you've been around since the beginning. THANK YOU. If you're new, WELCOME and I hope you stick around! Especially because I need to take a little break. And I have no idea what it's going to entail. The trut...
I hope "stop blogging and go do my resume" just means that you were just going to close out this blog post, not stop blogging entirely. I'd miss reading your blog posts.
Either way, good luck. I've been through a bad acquisition, so I know how tough it is. At the time, my team went from the big fish of the company to being told by the big company's marketing department "You have great content, but we don't know how to sell it so we're cutting you."
I doubt I could help with a job search, but if there's anything I can do just let me know.
CRAZY: Torn Between the Person I Am and the Person I Want to Be...
I'd like to think that if I lived back in the time of the American Revolution I would have been a Patriot. I'd like to think that if I lived back in the time of the suffragettes, that I would have been a champion for women. Because, OBVIOUSLY. Well, it's obvious now. But the truth is that I've ...
Congrats. I love NYC. My father used to work there when I was a kid and I always loved going to his office way up high. (Something like the 20th floor.) Then, in college, I interned at PBS there working on their website. I'm hoping to take my boys (at least the 8 year old, maybe the 4 year old) there for some sightseeing and a trip to the Natural History Museum.
You should definitely try to make it to Times Square. It's quite a sight to behold. Plus, there's the M&Ms store, Hershey store, and a giant Disney store to visit.
Dangerous in the City
My company was acquired about a year ago and we're finally going through a reorganization that has me working in New York City two days a week starting this week. I am THRILLED. Of course it's going to take some getting used to and being away from the kids will be hard but the truth is that it's...
My boys make no efforts to conceal who let it fly. In fact, my oldest will, at times, ask his younger brother to sit on his stomach. The reason for this? He has gas inside him and he's hoping that his brother sitting on his stomach will push him out. Yes, he wants his brother to use him as a human whoopee cushion.
Clue...
The company I work for was acquired by another company some time ago and we're in the process of merging. What this means is that some people are doing two jobs and some people are doing none depending on their sense of responsibiltiy and I'd like to think you know me well enough to guess which...
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