OK, no need for part two as it finally behaved when I signed into Typepad and posted. Phew!

Hey lady, Still waiting with bated breath, hoping like hell that this all goes smoothly. Going to say this in two parts since TypePad is limiting my comment length. (What is that with Typepad?) Also, I do find your consultant's approach interesting and as much of a fan of open, respectful, balanced adoption as I am, I would never have agreed to a time of co-parenting. Though we saw J during the time of ICPC when we were staying in DE, I couldn't imagine the internal conflict and feelings of being evaluated, I guess, that would come up in me with a transitional co-parenting phase. Not having been pregnant or even knowing whether the adoption plan was going to proceed, when Z was placed in my arms at the entrustment ceremony, it was like, WOW. I've got to get my headspace around this precious little girl right here and now. Those first few days/weeks were about learning her and doing a lot of self-talk to tell myself that this was really happening. This peanut was my daughter. I wouldn't have wanted the presence of her firstfamily to delay this time alone that I *absolutely needed* (unless they felt strongly that it would be helpful for them, and J did not. She just wanted to see us together as a family to feel good about her decision.) It may sound a bit selfish (and I know how APs get labeled with the S word all the time), but I think that time alone, unwatched, just you and the peanut with all the confusion, love, impostor-feelings and assorted good and bad stuff that comes up is really necessary. So as your friend, and as a person who loves you dearly, I will say to make sure that you assess what you need in this scenario as well. Everyone knows that your ethics are higher than most and your heart and ability to caretake for those around you is limitless...but sometimes I see you putting the needs of others before your own valid needs...just sometimes. So I want to make sure that YOU take care of your needs in this situation. It's not selfishness where you're concerned. It's just self-protection. I am so hoping that this works out for you, your AdoringHusband and the expectant parents & their families.

That's a great shot! Last time I tried to get our cats in the picture, I ended up with a giant gash in my hand.

OK, did you post that amazing picture (I should say the most amazing of the amazing pictures) that you took of Z on Saturday here on your blog? That shot alone should cost me $1000. OK, so I don't have $1000 to spend on one picture, but it is worth it, and you, my dear, have talent coming out of your pores, so act like you know! But I know how it feels when you are trying to find the right pricing for your work and there are self-esteem issues (been there done that). Just fake it (confidence) until it comes naturally. You definitely have the skillz! Mason can teach you the dealmaking part. :-)