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Well, at least Ollie's romantic.
My 7-year-old has a crush on one of her classroom's "bad boys" and he sounds like a bossy punk (one game he played with Isis has him as commanding officer and her as an army recruit)
The Cutest Valentine's Day Story Ever
When I got home from my business trip last night my 6yo daughter showed me her "new ring." "I love it!" I told her and asked, "Where did you get it?" "At school." she told me. This morning I got the details. "So where did you get the ring?" I asked her. "From Ollie." she told me. (Note: Ollie ...
I guess I don't understand the sigh of relief. I'd rather be touching something that regularly induces orgasms and has been having fun inside a woman than something that's been removing someone else's plaque and old food particles
If You Think My Toothbrush is Dangerous, You Should See My Vibrator...
I'm in Detroit. I've been here since Tuesday. I'm not really sure what day it is right now. My confusion has nothing to do with Detroit but with some serious sleep deprivation. I typically lose about 30 minutes of sleep every night and try to make it all up on Sunday morning but this past Satu...
As she neared the end of her banana and glass of milk, Allison's watched as her mommy passed through the living room, on the way upstairs.
She had a book with her, and Allie knew what that meant. Mommy going to the bathroom, where she always said, "it's the only place I get to hear myself think."
Allie took advantage of the absence of her mommy to peek into the purse at the pretty ring there. She thought of the bare finger on mommy's left hand. Remembered the stories of the mugging. Remembered how much mommy and daddy had cried not about their fear or the loss of their wallets but the loss of the ring. The ring that had belonged to grandma...the ring daddy had given mommy when he asked her to marry him.
The stories of their engagement and marriage had always made Allie happy but now they made little tears well up when she thought of them.
That ring had been so special to mommy and daddy. Mommy felt bad that such a precious thing had been lost and daddy cried and mumbled at times that he felt like a bad husband that he couldn't even afford to buy a nice replacement for that ring.
Allie looked at the glittering treasure in the shadows of the pink plastic purse and thought what it might look like on mommy's finger.
Wondered if it might bring joy to her parents' eyes to see it there.
Writing Assignment: The Forensic Edition
Last week at Borders I couldn't find anything that I went in there for (because it's going out of business) but I did find one of those Eyewitness Books for children on Forensics. I knew that my son would love it - and he does. The best part is that he keeps telling me things that he's learned ...
You make it worth the return trips here, and on Twitter, too (me and Facebook don't get along lately so not sure I'll see you there much).
I think I may have given myself a little too much tongue with that wet kiss, though. "Passion" got the better of me.
The Crazy In My Head: Patience
I don't have a passion. Passion? Yes. A passion? No. There is no one thing that I am passionate about. I don't love music, art, medicine, etc. Instead, I love things fervently - in short bursts. (Not people, of course, although back in my twenties perhaps...) Anyway, I've always been like ...
Can totally understand why you might not like Dr. Pepper (though I'm pretty fond of it and its cousin Pibb). But you REALLY want to taste ass-in-a-can?
Get some Moxie.
My state used to be part of yours, so I'm sure you can find it (or perhaps you've already been acquainted with it).
Never has any drink but Moxie dared to combine the sublime flavor of root beer with heavy notes of cough medicine and an undertone of concentrated sphincter.
Ten Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately
1. We ran the dishwasher 3 times yesterday. Finally at 10pm I realized that the final load - the china, was clean and dry and needed to be put away - particularly because there were a few more items in the sink including a couple of wooden items that DID need to be hand washed but would NOT be ...
I'm not going to mention my wife, child and stepson because (1) your own example suggested your family might have crashed with you so maybe mine crashed with me too, (2) I might be accused of too much sentimentality, and (3) they might not want to be stuck on the island with me, so why even drag them into this.
That said:
1. My entire stash of favorite magazine pictorials (placed in a binder in the days before Internet porn was so easy to come by), Victorian-era bondage/discipline novels and erotic short stories gathered from online in various genres/kinks in hard copy form (because even if I had a way to power a laptop, who's gonna fix it when it eventually crashes?)
2. One entire set of Wusthof kitchen cutlery and one entire set of J.A. Henckels kitchen cutlery, for defense, hunting and cooking needs...and because I've always wanted good knives for my cooking so being stranded on an island might as well be the reason why.
3. Many, many crates of decent merlot or quality brown ale or IPA
4. A shit-ton of notebooks and pens so I can write my fiction in peace and finally get all those novels done that I don't have time to finish (or start, in most cases)
5. Several sets of 500-count Egyptian cotton sheets, because if I'm going to have to sleep on the ground the rest of my life, I might as well do so in as much comfort at possible.
Writing Assignment: The Deserted Island Edition
As you know, I've been in withdrawal from the Diet Coke this week. And, LET'S BE CLEAR, I've had at least two/day - and it's STILL sucked. Which got me thinking - what if I really had to do it? What if my family crashed on a deserted island and our survival depended on my ability to function w...
With my wonderful new superpower of hyper-snoring that has emerged in middle age, I wouldn't hardly be in my own bed to enjoy such sheets anyway, so I'll just be happy with the cheap ones on the daybed (not like the CFO...I mean, wife...is gonna shell out for such sheets on multiple beds even if she did go all 500-count on me)
Nice Try Soldier
When I met my husband ten years ago he lived in a hovel. Seriously, it was DISGUSTING. I REFUSED to sleep there because my side of the bed was completely matted down with dog hair. They even had to tidy up before the cleaning lady came or she would walk in and walk out. And my husband would ta...
As one of the previous commenters, I do want to mebtion I didn't feel that you were slamming porn...just pointing out that a lot of women think if men watch it, the always want IRL what they see onscreen and I don't think that's the case most of the time.
I watch a lot of things specifically because they aren't anything my wife would do or because they are things she doesn't do often. Porn is basically my supplement...my fill in when we aren't having sex with each other. For that reason I don't feel a need for her to watch with me. However, given that I write erotica under another online name, I do wish she'd read my stuff...lol.
On the other hand, it wouldn't bother me a bit if she did watch with me
Pornography - Disclaimer
I want to make it clear that by publishing last week's Guest Post on pornography - I was NOT condemning pornography. I'm not going to judge someone else for what they do or don't enjoy sexually - as long as it's consensual. However, I will admit that in my experience men are more visually stimu...
To me, porn is entertainment, and a supplement to the wife. I mean, I don't want the police force to do things by the Bruce Willis "Die Hard" or Mel Gibson "Lethal Weapon" playbook, but it sure it fun to watch on screen. Honestly, damn near 100% of men watch or have watched porn, and I think very few of them want their women trying to emulate the on-screen antics (except maybe for some bi-curious three-way action). A lot of those positions kind of require the guy to work harder than is absolutely necessary or desirable...
G-Spot: Pornos and Pretzels
This post was written by my new friend Sheila at Opto-Mom. I was laughing out loud as I read it. ----- I think that the porn industry is totally ruining sex for us regular women. Have you seen the crazy shit these women do? And then they pretend to LIKE it! Here’s a little tip to the men in...
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Feb 25, 2011
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