Tiia Jones’s Favorites

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Blog: love.com
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Dating, particularly online dating thanks to the technological revolution that is the internet, is a numbers game. It is sort of like what people in marketing call “cold calling.” This is one of my internet dating rules. I formulated it after meeting John the Lawyer who informed me that in his real estate law practice he paid marketing assistants to make phone calls to drum up business. They would randomly call big property owners to see if the owners were looking to buy or sell something. Out of 100 calls, their efforts would net on average only three possible positive... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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Now you’ve finished the arduous process of writing the narrative portion of your profile, so it is time to do the easier part of answering a bunch of random multiple choice questions. These range from how tall you are to whether or not you have pets. Right off the bat they have you fill in your height which is easy enough. Then you put in your body type. The choices are something like: about average, slim and slender, a few extra pounds, curvy, athletic and toned, full-figured, or no answer. So I’m thinking that if I put “no answer,” whoever... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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In general, writing an internet dating profile is a lot like a job interview. You want to create a favorable impression of yourself without giving away unnecessary, negative information. All this, while not actually lying. For example, at a job interview you don’t want to say “I’m a compulsive neat freak who can’t stand change, all of which drives my co-workers crazy,” (even if, in my case, that’s mostly true). Instead, you would say, “I’m a type A personality who is highly organized and works well in a structured environment.” See, doesn’t that sound better? It’s a tricky business, and... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
Doritos, drinking, despondency, despising, dialing, do-overs, dating. This is the necessary cycle of a break-up. My gay friends tell me the cycle differs for them slightly (thankfully, they don’t seem to do as much of the dialing and do-overs, but they have more disbelief and degradation), but nevertheless there is a grief cycle involved in a break-up. Of course, some people substitute Double Dutch Chocolate Ice Cream for the Doritos, but I’ve always been a salty food kind of girl. So I drank a bottle of wine and ate two bags of Doritos (or was it the other way around?)... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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The bar was already busy with the Happy Hour crowd on a Friday night. Terry had told me he’d be wearing a turquoise button-up shirt and that he’d be standing near the bar. At least I’d learned a few online dating tricks from my previous experiences. Since he had my picture, I figured he had the advantage on me. I at least knew he was blonde with hazel eyes, but with this many people that would be difficult to ascertain. Plus I saw at least two bars serving drinks within the establishment. I approached what appeared to be the main... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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In honor of the end of the whale migration here in Washington, I thought this story was worthy of re-posting. Plus, I'm getting ready to teach a new school of unsuspecting fish of my own! A recent study conducted by the Marine Mammal Institute at Oregon State University found that sperm whales are much more calculating in their hunting practices of squid than has long been believed. They apparently hunt those poor little guys in groups of three using pretty sophisticated teams in which they rotate which whale does which job. One whale does the rounding up of the squid... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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“My fish committed suicide,” Christina said as we sat discussing our Book Club book at the coffee shop. “Wow,” I said noncommittally, “I didn’t know that could happen.” “Yeah, it’s very common actually. If you don’t give them enough attention or they are depressed they’ll jump right out of the tank,” said Christina (that’s not her real name BTW, but I had a student once who was wacko and was named Christina so I thought it was appropriate). The other Book Club members uncomfortably shifted in their chairs probably, like me, trying to figure out how she had gotten from... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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I noticed how soft his hands were as he took my right hand in both of his. “I hope you’ll forgive me. I am usually late but not usually this bad,” I said apologetically, “My sister called on the way and it was an upsetting phone call so I missed the turn and…anyway, how are you?” He had wonderful laugh lines around the corners of his eyes that crinkled up as he smiled and said, “It’s ok. Lucky for you, I’ve been enjoying some delicious brie and an outstanding wine. Unfortunately for you, I’ve already had half of the bottle.”... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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At last count, I have had online dates with eight lawyers. After about the third one, it would have been far less painful if I would have started giving myself oral surgery with a rusty butter knife but as it is usually my pattern to continue doing self-destructive things with men, I opted for the internet dates with the attorneys instead. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot of things about lawyers. For one, they are never wrong. Secondly, they are extremely egotistical which is probably helpful in their profession but not in a relationship. Finally, they like to tell... Continue »
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My Lizard Brain keeps getting between me and finishing my PAX East keynote, but I think I've found a way to have the last laugh. Continue »
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Blog: love.com
He was a doctor, and we had quite a few interests in common. He wanted to meet for martinis at a trendy bar downtown and then go to see a new movie called “Eyes Wide Shut.” The topics of conversation during drinks and the theme of the movie should have tipped me off that it was not going to be a normal date, but I was blinded by the MD and my desire to get over another failed love.com relationship that I had recently obliterated by using a lethal combination of Doritos and drinking. “So,” he said as we sipped... Continue »
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Blog: love.com
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