This is Web Monkey's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Web Monkey's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
Web Monkey
Bristol, UK
With security clearance and well over a decade of experience with SQL Server, Web Monkey is the resident DBA at Norb Technologies and a real database guru.
Interests: A regular contributor to SQL Server Club, his background includes software development, hardware, a smattering of essential networking knowledge and an unhealthy interest in web security. He has an obsession with automating repetitive tasks, but has a tendency to forget where he left his last open bag of fruit and nut...
Recent Activity
Fascinating data visualisation and statistics video by Hans Rosling, - The way forward for SQL Server Reporting Services? Tuesday 7th December at 9pm on BBC Four @HansRosling #Hans #Rosling #Data #Visualisation #Statistics #SQLServer Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2010 at SQL Server Club
New ! SQL Server 2011 LinkedIn group : http://www.linkedin.com/groups?mostPopular=&gid=3682910 Continue reading
Posted Nov 14, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Join an exceptional lineup of SQL Server and BI experts from around the world as they present a sneak peek of PASS Summit 2010 in 24 free live webcasts September 15-16. Find out more here: http://www.sqlpass.org/24hours/fall2010/ Continue reading
Posted Sep 12, 2010 at SQL Server Club
When installing SQL Server 2008 remember that you'll need to install .Net Framework 3.5, Service Pack 1 as a pre-requisite. Tip : if you've got more than one server that needs a SQL Server 2008 installation or upgrade,: download the distributable version of the package. This can then be copied... Continue reading
Posted Jul 27, 2010 at SQL Server Club
UK: #SQLBits 7 announced : University of #York, 30th September - 2nd October 2010 #SQLServer : http://sqlbits.com/default.aspx Continue reading
Posted Jun 20, 2010 at SQL Server Club
UK : Interesting talk on SQL Server 2008 Disk I/O and StreamInsight by Tony Rogerson MVP & Allan Mitchell, 14th July London : http://sqlblogcasts.com/blogs/tonyrogerson/archive/2010/06/04/event-on-sql-server-2008-disk-io-and-the-new-complex-event-processing-streaminsight-feature-in-r2-on-14th-july-london.aspx Continue reading
Posted Jun 17, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Web Monkey is now following Norb Technologies
May 19, 2010
Web Monkey is now following Steve Brown
May 8, 2010
If you’re in or around London, UK on Friday 16th April 2010, SQLBits VI is well worth a visit. And this SQLBits is a bit of a special one, intentionally arranged in conjunction with Microsoft’s launch of SQL Server 2008 R2 the previous day. Much of the day is dedicated... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
How I love purists. Especially Object Oriented, agile-assisted, latest fad, scrummed up, backlog driven, customer focussed, buttock-clenching purists. Just like their counterparts during the Spanish Inquisition they like to go around telling everyone what to do and think. Then do the exact opposite themselves whilst vilifying any non-believers as evil-doers.... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Image
I was happily minding my own business whilst responding to a blog about SQL Server Integration Services last week, when I was suddenly confronted by the following request to verify my response: Now, I have nothing against Re-captcha. In fact, I think it’s a fabulous idea. We use it here... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
I ran into an interesting problem a few days ago. One of our call centre databases had a huge transaction log, without any obvious reason. We’d only noticed it was down to 100Mb free on the transaction log drive. Odd thing was, the database was being backed up every night... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Sleep deprivation. Everyone reacts to it in their own way, whether enforced or voluntary, and I found this out personally the other day. In the process, I discovered how you can rejoice in the experience of seeing words in front of your eyes which normally make sense but now seem... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
It’s so easy to knock Microsoft. Everybody does it, ourselves included, and with good reason. And it’s even easier to knock Bill Gates. So just for a change, on Bill’s last day at Microsoft, today Friday 27th June 2008, we thought we’d write something positive and congratulatory about him. Born... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Image
Clippy says “I’ve noticed that you’re stressed out by the Microsoft Office Assistant. Would you like me to: - Administer a measured dose of Temazepam - Administer a measured dose of Morphine - Automatically report this to your manager - Book you in for a health check up - Change... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Once upon a time, we had the Structured “Systems Analysis” approach to software development: Define what the customer needs from the system. Break it up into easy to understand chunks. Write an implementation plan and get it written off by the interested parties as viable. Break down the plan into... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
I hate Microsoft’s auto update functionality. Even though it’s basically a very good idea, it’s another classic case of badly implementing something. So what are my main objections to it? Firstly, because Microsoft insists on shipping such almighty, incremental service packs, the download times are phenomenal. But what really bothers... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Let’s talk about drinks machines. Most places of work have them. Not water coolers you understand, they’re fine. Or even cola dispensers. But more specifically, those things that dispense mud flavored, mud colored mud. Or what their makers would like you and me to describe as ‘coffee’. I’ve wondered many... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
This question came to me recently when working at a large client site. I’ve worked for many managers over the years and their abilities have ranged from useless to excellent. Most sit somewhere in between. 1. Know the Job Developers can make good managers. But not everyone wants it and... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
You’ve probably never given it much thought, but your average database is pretty damned environmentally unfriendly. No, I’m not talking about the PCs and monitors that are left on overnight, though they do require an extra polluting power station or three to power them. I’m talking about the backend: the... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
We’re a funny lot, us IT people. Odd. An anomaly if you will. Sure, we all like good pay, it allows us to buy those gadgets we thrive on. How would we play games of technological one-upmanship with our colleagues if we didn’t have the latest graphics card, games console,... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Why? Why Why Why??? I’m using a new piece of software, VSS, that’s why. Visual Source Safe 2005 to the uninitiated. Much prettier on surface than its notably unillustrious predecessor of the same name and a nice new beige splash screen, but that’s about where the improvements end. Thanks must... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Why you can no longer rely on @@VERSION to determine your SQL Server version… We’ve just upgraded to SQL Server 2005 Service Pack 2a. You mean SQL Server 2005 Service Park 2, surely? No, I mean Service Pack 2a…. Read on… Problem: In SQL Server 2005 Service Pack 2, maintenance... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
11:11am. February 15th 2007. Thursday. The single most dangerous day of the year. The day when developers and DBAs all over Germany and Luxembourg cower under their desks, hide behind their monitors and refuse to leave the safety of the server room. The day on which the slightest hint of... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club
Led Zeppelin fished from one. Axl Rose repeatedly trashed them. And Michael Jackson hung his son by the ankles from the balcony of one. Me? I had an idea in one… You know what they’re like. Hotel rooms I mean, just in case you’d not worked it out by now.... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2010 at SQL Server Club